Sara in Hogwarts
Sara Crewe woke up on her eleventh birthday excited for the party to come. Usually she disliked parties, but this one was going to be extra special. She got up from bed and walked to the window only to see an odd envelope sitting on the sill. She picked it up, curiosity filling her. She then took her letter opener and carefully opened it. She sat in her favorite pink chair and began to read the letter. After she was done reading it, she put it down and began to think. This was a letter of acceptance to a school that Sara was sure she never applied to. According to the letter, it was a school for witches and wizards, but Sara did not believe in magic. She liked to pretend about magic and fairies, but in the end she knew it was only in her own imagination. The fact that these people knew her name and where she lived frightened her a bit. She wondered if they were crazy people who would try to harm her. She knew she ought to take this to Miss Minchin as soon as possible. But then again, she knew that a princess would be able to solve this issue on her own without relying on others. Sara sighed, not knowing quite what to do. She knew this needed immediate attention. But still, this opportunity intrigued her. She suddenly had a dilemma: on the one hand, she loved this school and her friends here. This school, despite the meanness of Lavinia and Jessie and to an extent Miss Minchin, was like a home to her. She wasn’t sure she wanted to leave it for anything less than her homeland of India. On the other hand, this presented a unique opportunity to attend a different school and learn things that she was sure she would never learn here. She would meet new friends too. Besides, she had a bad feeling about today. She just knew something awful was going to happen to her. She knew she was almost always right about these things, so she decided to write back that she would attend this Hogwarts school. When she was done writing, she saw an owl sitting outside her window, evidently waiting for her response. She opened her window and the owl hopped inside and took her reply letter from her hand. “Thank you,” she said with a kiss. The owl flew off. Sara watched it disappear into the morning sky before closing her window and sitting back down in her chair to think about what had just occurred. She gazed into the fireplace which was cold now. As she thought, she suddenly came to the realization that her papa was dead. That thought stopped Sara. It couldn’t be possible, could it? She would have heard about it by now if her papa was dead. Miss Minchin would be enraged and probably throw Sara into the streets. Sara was only eleven years old, but she knew that her papa had not been paying Miss Minchin for some time. Sara knew that would only make sense if something horrid had happened to him. Had he lost all his money? The diamond mines must have been false, Sara reasoned. And it had killed her papa knowing that he could no longer care for her. He had become terribly ill and died from jungle fever. Sara broke down in tears, knowing it was all true. She managed to keep herself from doing so loudly. She wondered if she should just go into the streets now. She could leave a note telling Miss Minchin and her friends what had happened. But that would be cowardly. Sara sighed deeply, not wanting to know what Miss Minchin would do when she found out Sara’s papa was dead and penniless. Sara knew she was now a pauper. Miss Minchin already hated Sara; when she realized that she had spoiled her in vain, she would want Sara dead. Sara was now deeply frightened. She needed money to pay off her papa’s debt to Miss Minchin, and she needed it now. She went to her desk to try to calculate how much she owed.
It took the whole morning, but Sara finally managed to figure out exactly how much she owed Miss Minchin. The number was staggering, and Sara didn’t know how in the world she would come up with such a sum. It would take her years to pay Miss Minchin back, especially since she did not have a job. There were not readily available jobs for children. The only job that might pay well enough to cover her debt with any sort of celerity was one that Sara refused to even consider. She would not be a prostitute, no matter how well the job would pay. If Sara was a little older, she might be able to find a good job as a maid or a tutor. But no one would hire an eleven year old to teach their children, or even to clean their house. She was simply too young to be of any use. But she had to do something. She did not want to end up as a slave here because she knew how Becky was treated and also knew it would a thousand times worse for her because Miss Minchin hated her so much. Sara became paralyzed with fear for a few moments as the realization struck her that she might well be forced to work here to cover her debt. She wanted to scream, but suppressed the urge. It felt surreal that her whole world was now in shambles yet she was the only one that knew it. She decided to write another letter, this time to her ayah in India. She hoped the woman whom she loved would be able to help her. The woman had been like a mother to Sara. As she wrote the letter, tears streamed down her face. This was the last day she would ever have as a princess. She would be a scullery maid henceforth, and she wasn’t sure how long of a day she would have as a princess. She began to wonder if the horrible thing that was going to happen was connected to her papa’s death. Perhaps his solicitor was going to come today to tell Miss Minchin of the situation. Sara supposed she ought to get her things ready to be sold as they most likely would be to cover the cost of the party. She sighed deeply. The door opened as she began the arduous and painful task of preparing her things for resale. Sara looked up and saw Mariette standing there with a shocked expression on her pretty face. “Good morning, Mariette!” Sara said, trying to sound cheerful. Mariette didn’t need to know the grave reality of the situation. She would soon be in enough trouble; she deserved to have at least a few hours of happiness. Mariette asked, “Sara, why are you rearranging your things?” Sara knew a princess would be truthful, so she replied, “My papa is dead, Mariette. I am not rearranging my things. I am preparing them so it will be easier for Miss Minchin to sell them to pay for today’s party. I am penniless now. I know not what Miss Minchin will do, but it is a likely possibility that I will be forced to work off my debt as a scullery maid, like Becky. I wish there was a job I could do that would make it unnecessary for me to work here, but I cannot think of one.” Mariette got tears in her eyes. “I am sorry for your loss, Miss Sara, and I am sorry that you must become a servant to such a cruel woman.” Sara said, “Well, at least I’ll go somewhere else in September. I have apparently gotten accepted into a school for wizards and witches. I don’t know how I’ll get there or how I’ll pay for the supplies needed, but I’ll handle that later.” Sara handed Mariette the letter. Mariette read it and then sighed. “Miss Sara, are you sure you want to stay here?” Sara replied, “No, but I don’t have a choice. If I run, I’ll be prosecuted for stealing whatever dress I put on. Nothing is mine anymore. I do not want to end up in debtor’s prison or in a workhouse. As bad as life here will be, I’m damn sure that this is my best option right now. Besides, running is cowardly. A princess would not run away; she would face what she knew was coming with grace and courage. I will not be a coward now.” Mariette hugged Sara. “You are the truest princess I have ever met, Miss Sara! Not many would stay when faced with such a grim future, even if the alternative was debtors’ prison or a workhouse. But you’re a smart girl, and will surely find a job soon.” Sara replied, “I surely hope so. This is going to be a living hell working for Miss Minchin. I will be starved to save money and at the same time worked to the bone.” Sara secretly wondered how long she would survive here under Miss Minchin’s foot. She wasn’t sure she’d even make it to the other school at all. Could she really survive six months of privation? She shivered, knowing that the fireplace in the attic was never used and that it was well below freezing outside. Her logical mind told her that she might survive a month or two in such conditions, without adequate food or warmth. Then it would be up to fate whether she survived or not. She surely could not survive more than four months, even as the weather warmed. She knew the remainder of winter would weaken her to the point that her body would begin to fail by the time spring came. Sara realized that she only had a few more months left to live. She instinctively began to shake with the knowledge that even though she was perfectly healthy she was about to die. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she did not hear the knock on the door. Suddenly she wondered if cowardice wasn’t such a bad idea after all. She could not run away because she would be caught but there was another way out, perhaps her only escape at this point. She stood up and walked swiftly over to her desk and took out the letter opener. She knew for a fact that it was razor sharp because a girl had cut herself playing with it. Sara sighed, steeling herself against the pain to come as she raised the blade to her throat. “Goodbye, world,” she said with her eyes full of tears. But just as she was slitting her own throat, a hand grabbed hers. Sara looked and saw Becky was holding her hand tightly, preventing her from suicide. “Let go, Becky! I must do this. Mariette can explain to you why.” As she said this, she tried to free her hand with no success. Despite being weaker and smaller than Sara, Becky was holding on with surprising strength. “I can’t let you do this, Miss! It ain’t right!” Sara replied, “Damn it, Becky, let go of my hand this instant! I am sorry that this upsets you, but I have no other choice!” Becky seemed shocked at Sara’s use of a curse word. Her grip loosened, giving Sara just enough leverage to break free. Sara then stabbed the letter opener into her chest with all her strength and then twisted it. She was rewarded with gushing blood. She smiled as she began to have trouble breathing. She fell to the floor, grinning. Then the world went black.
Sara woke up in a forest with the sun shining down on her face. She stood up and realized her chest wound was gone. Was she in heaven? She barely believed in such a thing anymore. She had tried for years to believe in God and heaven, but it was too fantastical for her to truly believe in. She sighed, wondering if her brain had come up with this because she was dying. Sara began to walk, the grass tickling her bare feet. She began to run, enjoying the last bit of freedom she would ever get, even if it was in death. Suddenly she sensed movement in the trees. She stopped, suddenly afraid. “Who are you?” she asked warily. She half feared it was Miss Minchin intruding on her dream world. She then realized that Miss Minchin could no longer harm her. This was a safe place. So she smiled and walked towards the noise with confidence. She jumped as a young man came toward her. He smiled at her and waved. Sara knew he was friendly and meant her no harm, so she smiled back. He was very handsome with tan skin and long silky black hair. She wondered if she was in India. She smiled wider and ran towards him, her arms outstretched. She was home! “Hug me!” she said in Hindi. The man’s face became puzzled even though he obeyed. Sara sighed in content as she was embraced. She liked this man, even if he was only a figment of her vivid imagination. Then she burst into tears. The man held her and patted her back soothingly as she cried into his bare chest. He then began to carry her away. “Where are you taking me?” asked Sara through her tears. The man replied, “I am taking you to my village. It is not far away.” Sara nodded and allowed herself to be carried to a village. She knew as soon as she saw it that this was not India at all. She had never seen such designs before. She wondered where she was as the man carried her into a nearby tent. An old man was in there. He seemed alarmed when he saw Sara. “What is the matter, child?” he asked her. Sara replied, “I am hurt. I appeared in the forest after I committed suicide. I’m not sure if I am dead or alive.” The man nodded and said, “Lay her here, Squanto. I need to look at her.” Squanto obeyed and laid her on the mat on the floor. The older man gently pulled her nightie down to reveal her flat chest which was bleeding profusely. The man immediately looked closer at the wound. “This is deep but not fatal. If treated, this should heal in a week or so.” Sara knew none of this was real, so she nodded and said, “All right.” The man said, “This will be very painful.” Squanto took Sara into his arms although she knew she would not feel any pain. Still, she snuggled her head into his chest, liking the feel of a warm chest. She felt sudden love for this man named Squanto. She flushed scarlet as she basked in the feel of her first love. Suddenly, as she was on the brink of sleep, she felt sharp stabbing pain in her chest. It was all she could do not to scream. What was this?!? She knew she couldn’t feel pain in dreams. And she knew that the pain couldn’t be from someone pulling out the knife because the gushing blood had washed it out of her chest. She began to realize that she was in another world. Was this the afterlife? She hoped she got to stay here forever with this man. She relaxed despite the pain. Squanto was stroking her head. She began to fall asleep. “I love you, Squanto,” she whispered.
Sara woke up back in her suite of rooms in the school. She could faintly hear Lottie crying. She tried to sit up only to feel agonizing pain in her chest. Blood was everywhere. The letter opener was on the desk, its blade soaked in blood. She slowly walked over to examine it. She wiped the blood off with her nightie, careful not to cut herself in the process. The last thing she needed was a hand injury slowing her down. She knew Miss Minchin would be quick to punish Sara if she were slow. Sara walked to her wardrobe and opened its doors, intending to find a black dress. She knew she would need to wear it when she became a servant. She soon found one that was too short for her in the back of the wardrobe. She sighed, knowing Miss Minchin would not care if the dress was too short. Sara would be expected to wear it as long as she could put it on at all. Sara laid the dress on her bed. She hugged Emily. “This is our last day of happiness, Emily. Let’s try to enjoy ourselves,” she said cheerfully. Suddenly the door opened and Mariette came in. “Miss Sara, you should not be walking! You are badly hurt. But it is just as well that you are up, since Miss Minchin wants to start the party now. She would not listen when I said you were ill. She seemed to think you were being lazy and trying to get out of the party.” Sara rolled her eyes, not wanting to have to listen to another scolding after she had just lost her papa. She then sighed and said, “Then let us not keep them waiting, Mariette. I’d like this day to be over as soon as possible.” Mariette seemed to understand as she readied Sara for the party, curling her hair and helping her into the pink silk dress that Miss Minchin had bought specially for this day. Then Sara slipped her feet into pink shoes. A pearl necklace was fastened around her neck and a diamond tiara was placed in her hair. Sara felt like a true princess, a princess being led to execution that is. She felt as if she were being dressed up to be made fun of when she was led to the guillotine. She wondered how Marie Antoinette had felt on her last day. Sara’s face was paler than usual as she left her room for the last time with Emily in her arms. Her face was set in a fake smile. She felt colder than she had ever been as she walked down the stairs with a trembling step. Miss Minchin was at the foot of the stairs, evidently waiting for Sara. She turned around as Sara finished the last of the stairs. She opened her mouth to scold Sara, but shut it in horror when she saw Sara’s face. “Sara, are you all right? You look pale as ice!” Sara replied, “I feel cold, Miss Minchin.” Miss Minchin became alarmed and made Sara sit. “Mariette, go get the best doctor you can find! Sara is deathly ill!” Sara suddenly had another premonition and said, “Mariette, go down by the old church. There is a reddish tree, and right to the left of that tree is a doorway. Go through there and you will find a doctor about a mile away. He lives in a big mansion.” Miss Minchin said, “She’s out of her mind with fever!” Mariette nodded and ran out of the school. Sara hoped she was following what Sara had told her.
Fifteen minutes later, Mariette came back trailed by a man Sara hoped was a doctor. He ran over to Sara who was by this time lying on a nearby couch. “What happened, sweetheart?” he asked. Sara sighed and looked at Miss Minchin who was beside herself with panic at the thought of losing Sara. Sara knew that the only reason Miss Minchin was so upset was that she was worried over losing Sara’s papa’s money. She might also be afraid of what the other girl’s parents would think if Sara died at the school. Sara looked straight at the doctor and replied in an emotionless voice. “I attempted suicide. I stabbed myself in the chest with a letter opener.” The man frowned as Miss Minchin asked, “Is this true, Sara?” Sara wanted to reply with sarcasm but kept her voice level as she answered, “Yes. The letter opener I used is still on my desk.” The doctor said, “Sara, why did you try to kill yourself?” Sara replied, “Because I felt I had no other escape from the horrors to come.” The doctor said, “Listen, Sara. I’m going to stitch this wound, but you will probably need a blood transfusion too. This is very deep. You’re lucky you didn’t puncture a lung.” Sara raised an eyebrow. She did not consider herself lucky at all. The doctor ignored this and began to clean the wound. It was painful, but Sara realized that wasn’t bad. At least she felt something other than this grief. After the wound was clean, the doctor took out a syringe. “I’m going to numb the area first before I apply the sutures.” Sara shook her head. “Don’t numb it.” The doctor stopped. “You want to feel pain?” Sara nodded. “It’s better than the alternative,” she answered sadly. The doctor said, “Honey, do you need help? You seemed depressed.” Sara replied, “I’m in grief, doctor. My papa just died, or rather I just realized he was dead. He probably died about a month ago.” Sara’s green eyes filled with tears. The doctor said, “I’m sorry, Sara.” He then put the syringe away and began to suture Sara’s chest wound closed. Sara nearly screamed in pain. She had not expected this level of pain. She regretted having refused the medicine. She also wished he would have given it to her anyway. She did not like this man. She felt as if he knew she was penniless and did not care whether she felt pain. Sara was sure he would not give her blood as he had said she needed. Was she going to die anyway? She thought about this as the doctor worked. Then, when he was done, Sara thanked him and began to stand up. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” he asked. Sara replied, “I’m going to go to my birthday party, sir. Thank you again for saving my life.” The doctor grabbed Sara. “You’re not going anywhere with that wound. Sit back down.” Sara said, “Either you carry me or I walk to the party. Either way I’m going.” The doctor scowled as he reluctantly picked her up. To his credit, he stayed silent. He carried her into the classroom where the other girls were waiting. They gasped to see Sara carried in. Miss Minchin ignored it and said haughtily to the man, “Set her here for now.” She motioned to a comfy couch. The man set her down and then said, “I’m done here.” He then left. Sara felt glad he was gone despite the fact that she still needed blood. The girls were all waiting for the party to begin, so Sara said, “I’m ready now, Miss Minchin, if you please.” Miss Minchin smiled at Sara and nodded. She then began a lengthy speech about Sara being a little heiress. Sara had to resist the urge to raise an eyebrow at the lies Miss Minchin was spewing. She had to remind herself that Miss Minchin did not know that they were lies. Sara nearly winced when Miss Minchin mentioned her papa. Sara felt very alone at that moment. She was the only one in the room that knew her papa was dead. These girls were so happy and joyous that it seemed impossible that they would soon be crying. Even Lavinia and Jessie had smiles. They had forgotten for the moment to be haughty and spoiled. Sara knew they would be mean and nasty when they learned she was a pauper. She would most likely live in the attic in the room next to Becky, if such a thing could be called a room. She had seen it only once before, but the memory was seared in her mind. She remembered her outrage that Becky had to sleep in such a place. The bed was rock hard and the walls were dingy. Worst of all, there were rats in the walls! Sara dreaded having to sleep in such a place. She feared the rats, knowing that they brought disease. She was already gravely injured; any illness brought by rats would be her end. Fear once again began to seep into her mind. Was there no end to this miasma of fear and pain? She knew there was nothing she could do to stop what was coming. She felt once again like a princess being lead to execution. Surely Marie Antoinette knew what was in store for her before it happened. She must have been terrified, just as Sara was now. Normally Sara would be brave and strong in this sort of situation, but she knew that bravery would do nothing here. She needed to use what strength she had for survival. Anything more than that was a luxury now, and she was done with luxuries. She lay back and waited for her papa’s solicitor to come and ruin the party. The sooner he came, the sooner she could go up the attic and be alone. All Sara wanted right now was solitude. She needed to grieve in peace for a few hours at least. Suddenly she began to feel lightheaded. The room around her began to dim and blur. Sara smiled as she slipped into unconsciousness.
Sara woke up in the village she had left a half hour ago. She could see Squanto kneeling by her, still stroking her face. “Hello, my love,” she said. He smiled at her and kissed her mouth. “Hello, Sara,” he said. “How did you know my name?” Squanto replied, “You said so yourself. You’ve been speaking in your sleep.” Sara blushed. “What else have I said?” she asked. Squanto answered, “You mentioned your papa’s death. I am very sorry for your loss. And I am sorry you must sleep in such an unpleasant place.” Sara realized that this must be a very vivid dream brought on by blood loss and pain. She wondered how much longer she would live in this dream world. She’d like to live here forever, but knew that was impossible. Even if she never woke up, eventually her heart would stop beating. She would most likely starve to death. She felt as if that were a better end than freezing to death in the attic. It would be nice to stay here with Squanto and be loved. She did not want to go back to the school anytime soon, if ever. She could die in this man’s arms with a smile on her face. She resolved to never wake up. With that in mind, she slowly stood up. Squanto became alarmed. “Sara, lie back down! You’ll make your injury worse!” Sara shrugged. “That is all right, my love, since this is not real. It’s all in my head.” Squanto asked, “My love, your injury is real. How could you think it was imaginary? I do not understand.” Sara replied, “You misunderstand, Squanto. My injury is not imaginary, you are. This whole world I have appeared in is imaginary. It is something my mind made up to cope with the blood loss and pain from my chest injury.” Sara walked towards Squanto who had a hurt look on his face. “You think I am pretend?!?” he asked. Sara said, “No, I don’t think you are pretend; I know you are. I also know this is painful for you to hear, but I have to be honest, even in my own mind.” Squanto hugged Sara tightly. “Sara, I promise you I am real. I know not how to convince you of this.” Sara hugged him back. “I suppose there isn’t a way to convince you either. That’s all right. I ought to have known my imagination was this strong.” Then Sara decided to do something she would never dream of doing in the real world. She pulled back from Squanto, lifted herself up on her tiptoes, and kissed him. He kissed back, his tongue going into her mouth. Sara was so focused on kissing this man, she hardly noticed as an older man came in and cleared his throat, an amused expression on his face. Squanto immediately broke the kiss as his cheeks went red. Sara smiled at the man, acting as if he hadn’t just caught her in the middle of kissing someone. “Hello, sir. Thank you for helping me earlier,” she said, haven given up on convincing the people here that they were unreal. It spoiled the fun, she decided. She was going to die soon anyway, might as well enjoy this dream as much as she could. The man smiled at her and said, “You look much better. I am glad of that, Sara. As soon as you are feeling better our chief, Samoset, wishes to meet you. He is intrigued about you. You are the first paleface we have ever seen here.” Sara suddenly realized where she was: she must be in 16th century America, before the pilgrims came. She knew she was not in ancient America because the man knew what a paleface was and indicated that there had been some seen in other places. Sara surmised that these people must be Native Americans. She wondered what had caused her to dream of them. She had never been particularly interested in them until now. She then said to the older man, whom she assumed was a medicine man, “I feel well enough now to go see Samoset. Honestly, I am intrigued about him as well.” The medicine man smiled again and said, “Follow me.” Sara obeyed and followed him out of the teepee, Squanto close behind her. She motioned for him to come closer to her. “Hold me while we walk, my love,” she said. Squanto took her into his arms. Soon they came upon a large teepee that Sara assumed was the chief’s. She had never learned much about Native Americans and now she regretted it. She had no idea how to greet the chief of a tribe. She was completely out of her element. She wondered why she had imagined something so foreign to her. It made no sense. She began to feel nervous for the first time in her life. The medicine man seemed to see her unease and put a hand on her shoulder. “It will be all right, Sara. He isn’t going to bite.” Sara smiled at him, trying to seem cheerful even though she was nervous and scared inside. She began to think that this man might kill her. It would certainly make sense for her mind to sense that it was dying and imagine up this scenario leading up to her death. That made more sense than anything else. Sara sighed and composed herself before walking into the teepee. She curtsied to the man she assumed was Samoset and said, “It is a pleasure to meet you, your highness. My name is Sara Crewe, my liege. I apologize for my intrusion earlier.” Samoset raised a dark eyebrow at her flowery speech. “Sara, I am Samoset, chief of this tribe. I have heard how you palefaces attempt to deceive others with pretty speech. Are you doing the same thing to me now, Sara?” Sara frowned and replied, “No, I am not trying to trick you. It’s just that I am nervous. I suppose this pretty language is a sort of façade for me to cover up my nervousness and my lack of knowledge of how to act around you. I know more of kings and queens than I do of chiefs and now I begin to regret it.” Samoset smiled, surprising Sara. “You do not need to be nervous around me, Sara. Just be yourself. You are very intelligent.” To Sara’s surprise, tears came into her green eyes. This man seemed so nice, he reminded her sharply of her dead papa. She bravely held the tears back for a few seconds before she broke completely and began to cry. She managed to keep quiet as tears streamed down her face. “What is the matter?” asked Samoset, seemingly alarmed at her sudden upset. Sara was about to lie and say she was fine, but she realized now was not the time to be the strong and unconquerable soldier. Honesty was the best option here, so she replied, “I’m sorry. It’s just that you are so nice you remind me of my papa who died about a month ago. I only discovered his death this morning.” Samoset frowned. “I’m sorry for your loss, Sara. I had heard of your papa’s death from Squanto. If there is anything I can do to ease your grief, I would be happy to do it.” Sara said, “It would be nice to not have to go back to the school. You see, when I was seven, my papa sent me to a boarding school in London. But now that he is dead, I owe a lot of money because the diamond mines were false. In short, I am completely penniless and have been so for some time without knowing it. If I stay at the school, I will be forced to be a slave to pay back the money I owe. The head of the school, Miss Minchin, already dislikes me because of an incident that happened when I was seven that she blames me for. I do not want to know what she will do to me when she finds out she has been nice to me for nothing. I doubt I will survive more than a couple of months if left under her care, if one might call what she will do to me care. I will most likely die of a combination of cold and starvation. I would run into the streets, but she would catch me and force me to come back to work off my debts. I am in a dire situation right now that I would rather not be in at all if it could be helped.” Samoset thought for a moment and then said, “Then is it alright if I adopted you? I have no children and you seem to need a parent. If this Miss Minchin ever comes here, she will regret it.” Sara was taken aback by this twist that her imagination had come up with. She wondered if her mind was preparing for a permanent sleep by giving her a home here. But surely her mind knew that she was going to die soon if she did not awake. Was she going to just drop dead? That was so illogical that Sara dismissed it. Even in her fantasies, there was always some form of logic. People didn’t just drop dead without cause. And deaths that she imagined were always dramatic. Why then would her own death be so random and plain? Dropping dead was not dramatic enough. She was forced to consider an alternative that she had to this point dismissed as mere fantasy. What if this was real after all? She began to shake with the implications of such a concept. Squanto sensed this and asked, “What is the matter, my love? You are trembling!” Sara looked around for some sort of flame but could find none. She supposed that made sense since it was warm outside. “My love?” asked Squanto, still waiting for her answer. “Squanto, I am beginning to think you might be right after all,” she replied simply, causing Squanto to smile. “Stop smirking, Squanto. It is not nice.” Squanto said, “My love, I am not smirking. I am happy that you are beginning to see the truth.” Sara sighed and realized that Samoset was still awaiting her answer. For a leader, he was a very patient man. “I’m sorry for being distracted. Yes, it would be all right for you to adopt me. It will be nice to have a papa for a change. I have not seen mine for five years.” Samoset smiled sadly at her. “You have suffered much, my child. I hope you will not have to suffer any longer.” Sara smiled back and said politely, “Thank you for being concerned over me, my chief. I hope to prove worthy of such concern and of being your daughter.” Sara hoped he was not offended over her formality, but she had only just met him and did not feel comfortable being casual with him yet. It simply wasn’t proper, and propriety might well be all she had left. Samoset motioned for her to come closer. “Come here, Sara, and sit on my lap.” Sara felt extremely uncomfortable doing such a thing with anyone other than her papa. She had always disliked sitting on other people’s laps, even when she had been a small child no older than Lottie was now. Her papa had been the only one she had ever been comfortable doing so with and now even though this man was going to be a parent to her, he was not her papa and never would be. Her papa was irreplaceable. Still, she felt that she ought to show some affection and warmth towards him despite how uncomfortable it made her feel. So she put her propriety in her pocket and walked towards Samoset. Suddenly she felt herself begin to disappear. She ran into Squanto’s arms, knowing she was about to be forced back to the school. She wanted his arms to be the last thing she felt. He smiled and kissed her as she disappeared.
Sara woke up in the classroom. She looked up to see Lavinia standing there with Jessie beside her. “Wake up, Princess! Miss Minchin said you’re the only one who is allowed to open your gifts! You are very rude to sleep during your own party, Your Highness. You know everyone is curious to see the ridiculously extravagant gifts your papa bought you.” Sara wanted to slap Lavinia for talking about her papa as if he were still alive, but held herself back. She knew Lavinia had no idea of the truth. Besides, if Sara struck Lavinia, she would be in deep trouble when Miss Minchin found out about her papa’s death. She needed to be smart now. “Where is Miss Minchin anyway?” asked Sara, knowing Lavinia would not speak to her that way if Miss Minchin were around. Lavinia shrugged. “A man came to see her and she’s in her office with him now.” Sara’s face fell. She had not expected this to happen so soon. Tears came into her eyes as her mind once again filled with fear. Lavinia rolled her blue eyes and said, “What is the matter now?” Sara did not answer her as she looked around for a blade. “I need something sharp,” she said finally. Lavinia said, “Why, so you can stab yourself again? There’s a knife over on the table by that huge box although I’m not sure how useful it would be. Honestly Sara, did you really think a letter opener would kill you? I thought you were supposed to be smart!” Sara ignored Lavinia’s last comment and replied, “I didn’t think before I did it. I was desperate. I am desperate now.” Sara then stood and ran over to the knife. She examined it and saw it was not very sharp or long. It would not do at all. “Useless,” she said with disappointment as she put the knife back down. Lavinia watched this with obvious amusement on her face. “Why do you want to die so badly, Your Highness?” she asked. Sara replied honestly, “I am not a princess any longer, Lavinia. I am a pauper now. My papa is dead. The man whom Miss Minchin is with now is most likely his solicitor. I’m sure that the diamond mines were false. My papa lost all his money, and the stress killed him.” Lavinia seemed at first to think this was a joke. “Very funny, Your Royal Highness,” she said mockingly. Sara raised an eyebrow, not even slightly upset by that name like she usually was. Now it was no more than a remnant of what she once was. It had no meaning any longer. Lavinia soon realized Sara was not joking and said, “Sara, that’s ridiculous! Miss Minchin would have thrown a fit if your papa had missed even one week’s payment.” Sara replied in a calm tone, “My papa has been having business problems for at least three months. I could tell by his letters. He didn’t directly tell me anything upsetting, but I could read between the lines and tell he was deeply troubled. Miss Minchin has most likely been upset by the payments being missed, but she probably assumes he’ll give her a huge check after this party. She must think that is why his solicitor is here.” Sara added, “It must have been a very nasty surprise when she learned the true reason he came here.” She smiled a little. Lavinia was in shock. Sara knew she was very intelligent and the only reason she was behind Sara in class at all was because she was too snobby and spiteful to love books and learning as much as Sara did. Sara said, “Lavinia, why don’t you open the box? We might as well know what is in it. And since you are above me now, you have more right to open it than I do.” Lavinia smirked and opened the box, ignoring the gasps of the other girls. The box contained a huge and lavish dollhouse, one that not even Sara had ever dreamed of owning. This was surely something a real princess would have. Sara walked over to look inside it despite herself, ignoring the pain in her chest. The girls came over as well, in awe of the thing. As Sara was admiring the tiny yet exquisite rooms, she spotted another box. “Here, Lavinia.” Lavinia took the box and opened it to reveal a large gorgeous doll. The doll had long dark brown hair and green grey eyes just like Sara. Sara was nearly sick as she saw pearls in the doll’s hair. She knew they were real and must have cost a small fortune. Sara had not expected such an extravagant gift. Then again, her papa had asked her if a doll would make an appropriate present. But still, if he had only gotten her a doll like Emily it would not be as awful. Sara began to wonder when he had ordered the doll and dollhouse. She knew the letter asking about her birthday had come about a month ago. What had he been thinking to buy such gifts when he was having business troubles? Sara for the first time became angry at her papa. She clenched her fists as her rage grew. “Damn it!” she muttered, realizing she had been ruined by her own papa. He had not been having business troubles when he had bought these things; he had most likely been completely bankrupt. The diamond mines had been revealed to be false some time ago. He hadn’t had the money to cover her school costs, much less buy her expensive birthday presents. Sara slowly took off her tiara and set it down on the table, then took off her earrings and slippers too. Lavinia watched her, a smug look on her face that Sara simply didn’t have the strength to react to. Sara then saw Becky standing there, tears in her eyes. Sara knew she had heard everything. “Becky, would you please go into my room and get the black dress that is on my bed? I might as well do this now.” Becky nodded and ran out of the room.
Several minutes later, Becky came back with the dress. Sara, who was this time down to her shift, put it on without help. “Here Miss, I found these shoes too.” Sara sighed as she donned the plain brown boots that she had bought on a whim a year ago. She was surprised how well they still fit her feet. She then began to walk to the door. “Where are you going?” asked Lavinia. Sara replied, “I am going to the attic. That is where I sleep now. I need to be alone to prepare myself for tomorrow.” Sara then took the silk dress and carried it up to her rooms, careful not to wrinkle it. She hung it up on a hanger and proceeded to clean all the blood out of the room.
Sara moved quickly and within five minutes the room was cleaner than it had been before she stabbed herself. All her things were laid out, ready to be removed and sold. Sara dressed Emily in a black dress as well before looking around the room one last time and then walking out, knowing she would never return, at least not to sleep. She supposed Miss Minchin would remake the room so that another pupil could sleep there. Sara walked downstairs, having decided to face Miss Minchin. It wouldn’t do well for Miss Minchin to hear that Sara had escaped to the attic. Sara was a foot from the classroom when the door to Miss Minchin’s office opened and Miss Amelia came out. She saw Sara and stopped. She didn’t seem to understand why Sara was so changed. “Hello, Miss Amelia,” said Sara. Miss Amelia asked, “Sara, why are you wearing that dress? And why are you not in the classroom with the others?” Sara replied, “Miss Amelia, I know my papa is dead and I know he left me penniless. I am a pauper now. I suppose Miss Minchin will force me to stay here to work off my debt as a scullery maid, so I decided to dress accordingly. I was just going to the classroom now.” Miss Amelia seemed shocked that Sara knew the truth. “Sara, Miss Minchin wants to see you,” said the woman, unable to think of anything else. Sara nodded and walked over to the door of Miss Minchin’s office. She knocked. “Who is it?” asked Miss Minchin, her voice lined with fury. Sara gathered her courage and replied politely, “It is Sara, Miss Minchin. May I please come in?” “You took your sweet time. Come in!” Sara ignored the angry words and opened the door and came in. She saw a man whom she assumed was her papa’s solicitor. She curtsied. “Hello. I suppose you are papa’s solicitor from Barrow and Skipworth. I am sorry to have to meet you under such circumstances.” The man seemed impressed by her and answered. “Yes. I apologize for your loss, Miss Crewe.” Suddenly Sara got an idea. “Excuse me, sir, I know I have no right to ask anything of you after my papa left such debt, but I was wondering if you might be able to help me locate a job. I need to pay off my debts and I have no money. I am sure you know what is in store for me here. I would be exceedingly grateful if you might at least give me some sort of advice on where to find a decent job.” The solicitor replied, “I shall look into it, Miss Crewe. You are a smart girl and well mannered. I am sure someone would be willing to hire you.” Sara smiled at the man. “I hope you are right, sir, because if I don’t find another job soon I fear I will not survive very long.” The solicitor frowned as Miss Minchin became irate. “Sara Crewe, don’t tell falsehoods. Go upstairs this instant!” Sara curtsied and said, “Yes, Ma’am.” Then she walked out of the room, completely ignoring Miss Amelia, and went upstairs to the attic. She sat down on the broken footstool and drew her knees to her chest then put her head down. She was trying not to cry, but it was an effort. Even though she had been prepared for this for what seemed like a long time, the shock of the sudden and drastic change in her life was almost too much for her to handle. She hoped the solicitor would find her a job soon; she was afraid she might have to resort to drastic measures to earn money. She knew that she could not stay here for long without having a way to earn money so she could repay her debt to Miss Minchin as quickly as possible. What she would do after that she did not know, but for now she needed to survive until she could make it to the other school. She resolved that she would do whatever she needed to do to survive. She then decided to go to sleep from emotional exhaustion.
Sara woke up in an alley. She stood up and started walking away when she spotted something on the ground. She bent down and saw it was a gun. She figured she might as well be armed just in case, so she picked it up and carried it in her hand as she walked out of the alley and into a street that she did not recognize. She saw a stand that held newspapers and snacks. Sara cocked her head, curious because she had seen this sort of thing only in India. She smiled, hoping she was home. With hope filling her mind, she ran skipped over to the stand, hiding the gun behind her back. She saw a man who was wearing odd clothing standing there talking to the clerk. He turned his head when she came over to him. She smiled at him and said cheerfully, “Hello! My name is Sara, it is nice to meet you!” The man smiled back and replied, “Hey, Sara. I’m Tony. It’s nice meeting you too. You want something to drink?” Sara blushed hotly. She had not been poor more than a day and people were already treating her like a beggar. She knew rationally that this man was only being nice and that she should acquiesce, but her pride burned inside her. “No thank you,” she managed to say with a curtsy and an awkward smile. Tony raised an eyebrow and asked, “Where are your parents anyway? It isn’t safe for you to be wandering around by yourself.” Sara replied honestly, “My parents are dead, sir. My mama died when I was born and my papa died a month ago.” Tony sighed and said, “I’m sorry. If there’s anything I can do, just say the word, ok?” As he said this, the bottle of juice he was holding was shot. Sara screamed as she realized that Tony was being attacked. She instinctively ducked as Tony ran and got into what looked like a horseless carriage. Sara had never seen anything like it before. She stared at it in awe for a split second before jumping into action as a black man jumped into the window of Tony’s car, trying to kill him. Sara pulled out the gun from behind her back and fired several times while running towards the moving carriage. Another black man tried to grab her but she shot him in the head. Then she resumed shooting Tony’s attacker, finally hitting him in the side. He screamed in pain and fell out of the window. Tony stopped the car. “Sara, get in here!” Sara nodded and ran up to the car, opened the back door, and jumped in. After she closed the door, Tony started driving again. “Where are we going?” asked Sara after she had gotten used to the odd movement of the carriage. Tony replied, “We’re going to my office, Sara.” Sara nodded and gazed out the window, surprised at how fast they seemed to be going. She wanted to ask Tony about it, but she did not want to seem stupid. So she settled for looking all around the inside of the carriage with her eyes while keeping her body and head still. It was a feat, but Sara managed it. She was so engrossed in looking around that she did not notice as the car pulled into the lot of a strip club until the car suddenly stopped, sending her forward. Tony caught her before she hit her head on the dashboard. “You all right?” he asked. Sara nodded, shaken. “What is this thing?” she asked looking up at Tony. Tony was obviously trying hard not to laugh as he replied, “It’s a car, Sara. I wondered why you never put on your seatbelt.” Sara admitted, “I don’t know what that is, Tony.” Tony said, “I’ll explain later. For now let’s go inside.” Sara smiled and allowed Tony to help her out of the car. When she was on her feet, she looked around. “What is this place?” she asked as she saw a picture of a naked woman above a sign that read exotic dancers. Immediately Sara became excited and grinned. She pointed to the sign and asked, “Tony, does that mean there are belly dancers here, like in India?” Tony was about to answer when a man who had just walked out of the building replied, “Are you an idiot or are you just high? Either way, get out of here before I get mad. You’re getting on my fucking nerves, kid.” Tony said, “Easy, Sil. She just saved my life.” Sil sighed and relaxed as he looked at Sara who was on the verge of tears. Sara’s lower lip shook despite itself as she tried hard not to cry. Her chest ached and she was beginning to feel dizzy again. Sil walked towards her. “Honey, I’m sorry.” Sara lost her temper at that moment and yelled, “Don’t call me honey after what you just said! And don’t try to apologize when it is clear you’re only doing it because Tony said so! You, sir, need to learn to respect girls, even if they’re in rags, because you never know when one of us might be a princess who could easily wave her wrist and send you to the guillotine for being unkind to her. I am a princess too, and the only reason I am sparing you is that I know that you are only a stupid old man who doesn’t know any better!” Sara put her hands on her flat hips in righteous indignation as she glared up at Sil, waiting for his reply to her tirade. To her surprise, Sil grinned and began to laugh. “This is not funny! How dare you laugh at me!” said Sara, incensed. Tony said, “Sil, don’t tease her.” Sara turned on Tony. “And you, how dare you bring a young lady to such a place? For God’s sake, Tony, I just saved your life and you repay me by bringing me to a harlot’s den after telling me that you were bringing me to your office? Have you no compunction?” Sil was trying hard to suppress laughter as he said, “Principessa, I’m sure he didn’t mean to offend your sensibilities. And he didn’t lie to you. Our office is here. You see, Tony owns this strip club.” Sara raised an eyebrow. “Well he ought to have been more honest about that. I thought we were going to a normal office building! I feel not only offended but deceived.” Tony said, “Calm down, dolce cuore.” Sara stepped back from the two men and said, “Don’t tell me to calm down! And don’t call me sweetheart. I am sick of people not caring about me or my feelings.” Tears streamed down Sara’s face as she began to cry silently. She then pulled out the gun from her dress pocket and pointed it at her own head. Both men were alarmed. “Sara don’t! Listen, I’m sorry for not being upfront with you about taking you here. I’m sorry that Sil was an ass to you, but suicide isn’t the answer. So put the gun down, Sara, and the three of us can talk in my office.” Sara looked from Tony to the building. A young woman dressed in lingerie stepped outside. Sara wrinkled her nose in disgust. “I am not going anywhere near that place! I may be penniless and a scullery maid now, but I still have some pride left, Tony. I am not like her! That’s why you brought me here, isn’t it? You wanted me to be a little harlot. I will never bring myself so low as to undress in front of men, because even though I now must wear rags, I am a princess inside!” Tony said, “I never wanted you to be a stripper, Sara! I know you ain’t like our girls here, besides the fact that you aren’t old enough to strip anyway. You have to be eighteen to strip legally and you’re not even thirteen. I don’t care that you don’t have any money. That doesn’t undermine the fact that you saved my life even though you could have easily been killed or worse. I brought you here to talk about rewarding you for doing that. I realize now that it was stupid and offensive to bring a girl here. Again, I’m sorry.” Sara sighed as her finger reached the trigger. “This is not about you, Tony. This is not your fault and there is nothing you could have done to stop it. This would have happened eventually. I simply cannot live as a scullery maid under Miss Minchin, who will no doubt starve and beat me. I would be insane and idiotic to return to such a life if I had an alternative. I have no choice but to kill myself.” As she said this, she pulled the trigger. She then fell to the ground. The last thing she heard was the woman screaming and running over as Tony took Sara in his arms. She smiled up at him and then used the last of her strength to reach up and kiss his mouth. He kissed back as her heart stopped.
Sara woke up in Squanto’s arms. He was asleep. Sara could see dried tears on his handsome face. She could tell he had cried recently. She ran her small hand along his face. “Squanto, my love, I am sorry for making you cry. I love you deeply and if I were old enough I would want to marry you.” Squanto’s eyes opened and he smiled at Sara. “Sara, I thought you were not coming back! I love you too. Samoset will be ecstatic to see you are alive. I asked him for your hand in marriage and he said if you were willing, then he would allow us to marry when you come of age.” Sara grinned in delight. “I am very willing, Squanto. Does this mean we are engaged? I need to find you a ring. I don’t know how I’ll afford one, but I suppose I have a few years to figure it out.” Squanto laughed and said, “Yes, we are engaged then. But what is this about a ring? Is it something palefaces do when they are engaged?” Sara explained, “Traditionally, when a man proposes to a woman or asks for her hand in marriage, he presents her a ring if she says yes. And then when the two are married, they exchange wedding rings. But since I’m the one from that culture, I thought it appropriate to give you a ring as a symbol of our engagement.” Sara took off her locket and put it around Squanto’s neck. “Here, I suppose this locket will have to suffice until I can find a gorgeous ring.” Squanto grinned again and said, “I’m sure it will be beautiful, Sara.” Sara kissed him. He kissed back, his hands moving along her small body. Suddenly, as the two were kissing passionately, the medicine man came into the tent and cleared his throat. Sara and Squanto immediately looked up, both blushing hotly. The medicine man smiled in amusement. “I came in here to see how Sara was doing,” he said as he walked over to Sara as Squanto sighed and held Sara. The medicine man frowned as he looked at Sara’s head. “You’re bleeding, Sara! What happened?” he asked as he gently felt her gunshot wound on either side of her head. “I tried to kill myself again, this time with a gun,” admitted Sara honestly. The medicine man closed his eyes for a second. “Sweetheart, you can’t keep trying to commit suicide, because eventually you will succeed. Why do you want to leave us so badly?” Sara replied, “I don’t want to leave any of you. I love you all. The reason I keep trying to end my life is that I want to leave the school I am trapped in. I don’t want to know what Miss Minchin is planning to do to me. I doubt I will survive much longer anyway. It is better to die by my own hand now than to endure a slow agonizing death. If I could find a way to live here forever and never go back, I would do it in a heartbeat and never think of suicide again. But I do not think it is possible for me to live here.” The medicine man said, “Then this is very serious. We need to talk with the chief about what to do about this.” Squanto picked Sara up and followed the medicine man to Samoset’s teepee. Samoset looked up and grinned at seeing Sara. “Sara, my daughter, I am so glad to see you again!” He reached out his arms for her. Squanto gently placed her on Samoset’s lap. Samoset hugged her to him and then frowned. “Sara my dear, your head is bleeding! What happened, my daughter?” Sara replied, “I shot myself in the head with a gun.” Samoset grimaced as tears came into his eyes. “Sara, my sweet daughter, why do you keep trying to kill yourself? I don’t understand!” Sara said, “If you find a way to either kill Miss Minchin or allow me to stay here for the rest of my life, then I’ll stop trying to die. Until then, I have no choice. I will not stop trying to escape Miss Minchin until the day I die.” Samoset sighed and said, “Can you not run away? I cannot take these suicide attempts. It breaks my heart that you wish to die so much. I love you deeply even though we’ve just met. I don’t want to lose you.” Sara replied, “I understand that, and I’m sorry for causing you so much grief, but if I ran away I’d be arrested and sent to a workhouse. You see, I owe Miss Minchin a lot of money and she will not allow me to escape without working it off. If I ran away, she would sent police after me and I would be forced first into debtors prison and then into a workhouse to pay off my debt, then when that was paid off, I’d go back into debtors’ prison. As bad as it is living at the school as a scullery maid, living in a workhouse would be much worse. I don’t think I’d survive even a week in a workhouse. At least I still have one friend at the school; at a workhouse I wouldn’t have any friends.” Suddenly Sara heard Becky’s voice saying, “Miss Sara, wake up! The missus will be very angry if you go downstairs late.” Sara sighed and woke up.
Sara looked around the barren attic that was her new bedroom. At least she got her own room, she supposed. Sara then stood up and followed Becky downstairs, not saying a word. When she arrived in the dining room, she saw Lavinia was already sitting in her seat. Miss Minchin turned as she entered and said coldly, “You are late. Don’t let it happen again. You are to sit with the younger girls and see that they behave. Lottie has already upset her tea.” Sara sighed in resignation and said in a monotone, “Yes, Ma’am.” She then walked over and sat next to Lottie despite the pain in her chest. Sara decided that she didn’t care what Miss Minchin did to her anymore, as long as she could return to Squanto and Samoset at night. She could bear whatever happened to her if she had that to look forward to. She wondered how Tony and Sil were doing after her supposed death. She supposed they blamed themselves for it even though she had told them it wasn’t their faults. She also wondered who that woman was. She was surely some sort of harlot. Sara remembered that Tony had said something about strippers. Sara did not quite know what that was, but she could easily figure that it had something to do with a woman who took off her clothes for money. Sara nearly giggled at having kissed Tony. She knew he was married, but she just couldn’t help herself. He was cute even though Sara though he was much too fat for her tastes. Sil, on the other hand, was thinner and Sara wondered if he had an attractive chest like Squanto. Sara realized that both Sil and Tony were too pale for her to really be attracted to. She liked russet skin and long black hair. She supposed that made sense after being raised in India although she knew that many English girls were raised in India and few of them were attracted to men that weren’t pale skinned Europeans. But one thing Sara was sure of was that she liked kissing men, no matter their skin color or weight. Kissing was fun! Sara hoped to go farther someday. She was well versed in the Karma Sutra, and hoped to share her knowledge with Squanto one day so they could act it out. Sara blushed hotly as she began to think of what it would be like to do it with Squanto, and maybe even Tony or Sil too. A threesome would be very fun. “Sara!” a shrill voice brought Sara quite rudely out of her naughty thoughts. Sara looked up and saw Miss Minchin glaring at her. “What is the matter, Ma’am?” asked Sara. Miss Minchin replied, “You are not watching the children! Lottie has been talking far too much and she has spilled her porridge. Now clean that up and keep a better eye on her instead of daydreaming.” Sara said, “Yes, ma’am.” Sara then cleaned up the mess Lottie had made while still thinking about Squanto, her fiancé. She missed him already.
Sara breezed through the rest of the day until late that night, when she was finally allowed to go upstairs to bed. She raced up the three flights of stairs, eager to see her love again. She quickly lay down and went to sleep.
Sara woke up in a room she did not recognize. A thin tube was sticking out of her left arm and gold liquid was dripping into her arm from a clear bag. She realized that her chest no longer hurt. A small person in strange white clothes with blue lights was watching her. “Who are you?” asked Sara in awe. The person replied, “I am an alien. My people, the Sophons, live in an alternate universe far away from yours. But we have seen what you have gone through and decided to help. I am so sorry about your papa’s death, Sara.” Sara answered, “How do you know about this?” The alien replied, “We know because we have been watching you since before you were born. You have a natural affinity for Dust; it seems to just gravitate towards you.” The alien motioned towards the golden liquid. “This is liquefied Dust. It has healed your chest injury quite nicely as well as your gunshot wound.” Just as she was about to ask what Dust was, the door slid open and Sil walked in. The alien smiled at her before disappearing. Sara looked up at Sil as he noticed she was awake. He smiled at her and said, “Hey, Sara. I was worried that you weren’t going to wake up anytime soon. You’ve been in a deep coma for several weeks.” Sara asked, “Where am I anyway? I’ve never seen a room like this. And those beeping machines are quite odd.” Sil once again tried to stifle laughter as he replied, “You’re in a hospital, miele. After you shot yourself, Tony and I rushed you here where the docs struggled to save your life. After you were stabilized, you were put in this room. That was half a month ago. It’s a miracle you survived.” Sara had never before been in a hospital. When she had been sick, her papa’s physician had taken care of her. Hospitals were for people who couldn’t afford private medical care, or at least that is what she had been raised to believe. Now she wasn’t sure what was true or false anymore. Her whole world seemed to have been turned upside down and then shaken, as if she lived inside a snow globe. How long had her papa known he was penniless and in debt? She was angry at him for not bringing her back to India when he had the chance. She knew one did not just suddenly fall into poverty from such wealth. He had spent a small fortune on her birthday party, and another on that ridiculous doll. He had to have known that he could little afford either. Sara could almost understand his reasoning. She supposed he had been trying to keep her happy and protect her from the awful truth of their situation. But still, the money he spent on her birthday could have easily gone to pay for her to come back to India, where she was sure her ayah would have adopted her. She could not believe he was stupid and naïve enough to believe she would be cared for by Miss Minchin. What had he been thinking?!? She wanted to scream. Because of him, she was stuck in hell with no way out. She wished she had figured out earlier that he was having money problems. Then she could have sold her possessions herself and used the money to return home to India. As she looked back, she realized with a sinking feeling that she ought to have known for at least a year that something was amiss. That’s when the letters had stopped being quite so cheerful and merry. Sara cursed inside herself, beginning to think this was all her fault. Her papa had not known any better, but she should have. She thought she was smart, but now she doubted she was very intelligent at all. How could she have missed all the hints and signs that something was wrong? Maybe she really ought to die after all if she were as stupid as this. She pointed to a nearby cabinet. “What’s in that, Sil?” she asked innocently. Sil looked to where she was pointing and said, “Probably medical stuff, Sara. Do you want me to look inside?” Sara nodded. Curiosity burned inside her as well as hope that it contained some medicine that she could commit suicide with. Perhaps this time she would not be able to be saved. Sil shrugged as he walked over and opened the drawers of the cabinet to reveal syringes. He took one out. “This one has steroids in it. It’s probably used to treat anaphylaxis.” Sara had no idea what either of those things were, deepening her conviction that she was a complete idiot. Sil was by this time pulling out more syringes. “Weird. These are all epinephrine and other steroids. You’d think they’d have insulin in this, just in case there was a diabetic here.” Sara’s face lit up. She knew exactly what insulin and diabetes were. She also knew that insulin was toxic to healthy people. “I guess they didn’t want anyone committing suicide by insulin, Sil,” said Sara. Sil sighed. Sara could tell he was still upset over her suicide attempt. She was sorry to have to cause him more grief, but he and everyone else was better off without an imbecile like her galumphing around wreaking havoc. She lied, “Sil, I’m hungry! Could you get me something to eat?” Sil nodded and managed to smile although she could tell it was a huge effort. “You must be starving after not eating for half a month. I’ll go see if I can get some food, OK Principessa?” Sara nodded in fake eagerness and said, “Thank you, Sil!” Sil’s smile became real for a few moments as he walked to the door. Before leaving, he turned around and said, “One more thing before I leave, Sara.” His face was completely serious. Sara said, “What, Sil?” Sil said, “Don’t try to commit suicide again while I’m gone.” Sara kept her face straight as she lied, “I promise I won’t, Sil.” Sil evidently believed her because he smiled again and then left the room. Sara hated having to lie, but supposed that one more lie wouldn’t matter anyway since she was going to die soon anyway. She was determined to succeed this time. She would keep injecting insulin into her veins until she dropped dead. She waited patiently for Sil’s footsteps to fade away before she carefully got out of bed and ripped out the needle that was pouring Dust into her bloodstream. She then walked over to the door and looked both ways to make sure nobody was nearby before she walked out of the room and down the hall and into another room where a redheaded girl was laying in a bed, bruises all over her. Sara grabbed the clipboard from her bed and opened it to find that the girl had been in a horrific accident. Sara then read that the girl’s mother was diabetic. She smiled as she found a grey pen lying on the bedside table. Sara turned the dial so that it would give her the full dose, then she looked at the girl who the chart said was in agony and wasn’t likely to get better. Sara supposed she ought to do one last good deed as she walked over and plunged the pen into the girl’s carotid artery and pushed the button. The girl immediately seemed to relax into death. Sara smiled and grabbed the second grey pen and injected herself with insulin. She collapsed, her head hitting the floor with a sickening crack. The world around her went black as blood streamed out of her head.
Sara woke up with her wrists tied together with some sort of golden material. She looked around and saw she was in a nice bedroom. She jumped when she saw the alien from before sitting in a chair, watching her with its large blue eyes. Sara sighed in disappointment that her suicide attempt had once again failed. How difficult was it to end her life, for God’s sake? Was she such an idiot that she could not manage the simplest tasks? The alien seemed to read her mind as it said, “Sara, you are not an idiot. If you were, my people would not have been interested in you. Idiots are commonplace; true genius is rare and exciting. We knew from the moment you received consciousness in your mother’s body that you were smarter than some of us and that is saying a lot for an Earthling human. We have never come across even an adult human that could compare to our intelligence until we met you, although your papa came very close. We had been watching him for a while before he met your mama and you were conceived.” Sara was intrigued by this and could not help but believe this alien, but she still wondered how she had survived injecting insulin into her carotid artery. She realized that she might not be an idiot after all; she had not botched the suicide. She knew someone had to have saved her. One did not survive a sudden and complete drop in blood sugar without external help. The alien said, “That’s right, Sara. You would have died very quickly had it not been for Sil’s quick actions. The Dust sent out an alarm to Sil’s cell phone as soon as you disconnected the IV. He ran back upstairs and arrived just after you had gone into hypoglycemic shock, causing a massive seizure. He thought you were going to die and so he put you back into your own room and put the IV back in. Then the Dust was able to heal you and destroy the insulin. You were then brought here, to Tony’s house. You are now in his bedroom. He sleeps in the chair I am sitting in. He does not dare leave you unattended for even a second.” Sara said, “Shall I be allowed to stay here until September? I have been accepted to another school which starts then. But I do not want to return to Miss Minchin’s! That is why I have continued to attempt suicide. I cannot bear living in that attic for even another day! The way the other girls stare at me, like I’m some sort of animal, is hurtful.” Tears gathered in Sara’s eyes. The alien sighed and said, “The girls probably don’t know how to handle the huge change in your status. Yesterday you were basically a princess, and overnight you’ve become a scullery maid. Even for your friend Emerngarde, it is very awkward. She is not very intelligent, even for a young human, and it will probably be several months at least before she is able to approach you. Lottie is too young to realize what has happened. All she knows is that you are suddenly wearing a black dress that is too short for you. If you left the school, your friends would suffer. Neither of them would understand why you had left.” Sara frowned. “You want me to stay at the school, don’t you?” The alien shook it’s head. “No, Sara. We do not care whether or not you stay. I am simply providing you with both sides of the issue so that you can make an informed decision.” Sara nodded and asked, “Will Miss Minchin prosecute me if I leave?” The alien nodded. “Most likely if you were to leave and stay in your own time period, she would attempt to get her money back. But if you stayed here, she could not reach you.” Sara nodded, knowing what she had to do. She could not allow herself to starve. Suddenly the door opened and Tony came in. He smiled at Sara and said, “Hey, Sara. How are you feeling?” Sara lied, “I am feeling well. Thank you for allowing me to stay in your home. When I recover fully, I shall find a way to repay this kindness.” Tony said, “You’re welcome, Sara. It was the least I could do after you saved my life. I never got to really repay you for doing that, so you don’t need to worry about repaying me.” Sara smiled at him and said, “I apologize for causing such grief, though. I only did it because of the desperate situation I am in.” Tony frowned and nodded. “Your alien friend was telling us about that. Look, you can’t keep living in that school the way you are now. Things are only going to get worse for you the longer you stay there. You need to get your things and leave there as soon as possible.” Sara said, “I don’t have any things left. My only possession is my doll Emily that my papa bought for me when I first came to the school. Everything else was taken away to be sold to pay my debts.” Sara sighed, knowing she had to ask to stay here even though it felt awkward because she barely knew Tony. “Tony, can I ask you a favor? I know you’ve already done a lot for me and this is completely impertinent to ask, but may I stay here? You are right in that I cannot return to the school, but I have nowhere else to go. If I were to go back to my own time period, I would be persecuted and put into a workhouse or debtors prison. Not that I would have anywhere to live even if I weren’t in debt. I still have no money. I’ll pay you back once I find a job.” Tony raised an eyebrow and answered, “Sara, I wouldn’t allow you not to stay here. This is your home now. As for finding a job, if you really want to I have no objections, but you’ll have to wait until you’re old enough to work. I think you have to be at least fourteen.” Sara sighed in relief that she would be able to live here and not have to work. She could pretend that Tony was her papa even though she was tempted to kiss him again. He was very cute when he smiled. The alien seemed amused by this but kept silent as Tony walked over to Sara. Sara startled as he hugged her. She was unused to being embraced. Even before her papa died, she was rarely hugged. Sometimes Ermie hugged her, but only every once in a while. She hadn’t even realized how much she needed physical human contact until right now as she melted into Tony’s arms. Then, as he was ending the hug, she reached up and kissed him again. He immediately kissed back as he held her, one hand in her dark tangles of hair, the other arm supporting her weight. She ignored the fact that the alien was watching this with a grin on its face, looking like it was trying not to laugh. Sara suddenly thought to how her papa would weep if he knew she was kissing a man at least twice her age. She grinned, hoping he could see her. This was her vengeance for him ruining her. A grey haired man Sara had never seen before walked in and sighed. “Tony, what the fuck? You haven’t known this girl for more than two months and you’re already making moves on her. Slow down.” Sara immediately became defensive of Tony. She said, “It’s not his fault! It’s mine. I kissed him because I thought he was cute.” The man said, “You must be Sara. I’m Paulie. This is not your fault. I don’t care if you kissed him. He’s the adult, Sara. He can’t be kissing a little girl like you, no matter what you did. This is his fault. He’s the one making out with a child.” Sara raised an eyebrow. She was beginning to think this man was insane or at least painfully naïve. Mayhap he was senile. The alien burst out laughing suddenly, startling everybody in the room. “Sara, he’s not senile or naïve. In this time period, people see children as innocent and vulnerable. In this society, the age of consent is around eighteen and it is illegal for somebody older than eighteen to even kiss someone under seventeen. It’s called statutory rape, and my people agree with it for the majority of humans. Most children your age are not sexually mature and even when they are, it is too easy for them to be taken advantage of. You, of course, are very different. You are extremely intelligent and are becoming sexually mature. Now I wouldn’t advise you to go around sleeping with strange men because there are a lot of freaks out there, but kissing Tony is not dangerous or harmful. On the contrary, it could be very educational for a young girl just learning about sex and men’s bodies. As long as you don’t neglect your fiancée, it would be fun to have a fling.” Sara blushed scarlet at the mention of Squanto. Tony, Sil, and Paulie all looked at her. Tony said, “You’re engaged, Sara? To who?” Sara said, “It’s to whom, Tony. And his name is Squanto. He is native American.” Paulie said, “How long have you been engaged, Sara? Does he know you’re eleven years old?” Sara answered, “I’ve been engaged since right after I shot myself in the head. I am not sure he knows my exact age, but he knows I am not old enough to marry.” The alien handed her an emerald ring that looked very Celtic. “Here, Sara. You were looking for an engagement ring.” Sara took the ring. The alien said, “This was worn by William Wallace, known as Braveheart. He is your distant ancestor, so I thought it fitting you would use his ring.” Paulie smiled and said, “So what is the age of marriage in Native American culture, 14?” The alien replied, “Well, technically Squanto is Native Canadian since he is of the Winnipeg tribe, but traditionally the age of marriage is the same as the age of menarche. Once a girl gets her period, she chooses her husband through a ritual dance. But since Sara is so young at the time of her first period, she will most likely marry Squanto when she is twelve or thirteen due to her maturity.” Tony immediately set Sara down, acting like she was on fire. “She’s on her period?” he asked. The alien nodded. “She isn’t bleeding yet, but she has ovulated. She ought to start bleeding in a couple days.”
Sara Crewe woke up on her eleventh birthday excited for the party to come. Usually she disliked parties, but this one was going to be extra special. She got up from bed and walked to the window only to see an odd envelope sitting on the sill. She picked it up, curiosity filling her. She then took her letter opener and carefully opened it. She sat in her favorite pink chair and began to read the letter. After she was done reading it, she put it down and began to think. This was a letter of acceptance to a school that Sara was sure she never applied to. According to the letter, it was a school for witches and wizards, but Sara did not believe in magic. She liked to pretend about magic and fairies, but in the end she knew it was only in her own imagination. The fact that these people knew her name and where she lived frightened her a bit. She wondered if they were crazy people who would try to harm her. She knew she ought to take this to Miss Minchin as soon as possible. But then again, she knew that a princess would be able to solve this issue on her own without relying on others. Sara sighed, not knowing quite what to do. She knew this needed immediate attention. But still, this opportunity intrigued her. She suddenly had a dilemma: on the one hand, she loved this school and her friends here. This school, despite the meanness of Lavinia and Jessie and to an extent Miss Minchin, was like a home to her. She wasn’t sure she wanted to leave it for anything less than her homeland of India. On the other hand, this presented a unique opportunity to attend a different school and learn things that she was sure she would never learn here. She would meet new friends too. Besides, she had a bad feeling about today. She just knew something awful was going to happen to her. She knew she was almost always right about these things, so she decided to write back that she would attend this Hogwarts school. When she was done writing, she saw an owl sitting outside her window, evidently waiting for her response. She opened her window and the owl hopped inside and took her reply letter from her hand. “Thank you,” she said with a kiss. The owl flew off. Sara watched it disappear into the morning sky before closing her window and sitting back down in her chair to think about what had just occurred. She gazed into the fireplace which was cold now. As she thought, she suddenly came to the realization that her papa was dead. That thought stopped Sara. It couldn’t be possible, could it? She would have heard about it by now if her papa was dead. Miss Minchin would be enraged and probably throw Sara into the streets. Sara was only eleven years old, but she knew that her papa had not been paying Miss Minchin for some time. Sara knew that would only make sense if something horrid had happened to him. Had he lost all his money? The diamond mines must have been false, Sara reasoned. And it had killed her papa knowing that he could no longer care for her. He had become terribly ill and died from jungle fever. Sara broke down in tears, knowing it was all true. She managed to keep herself from doing so loudly. She wondered if she should just go into the streets now. She could leave a note telling Miss Minchin and her friends what had happened. But that would be cowardly. Sara sighed deeply, not wanting to know what Miss Minchin would do when she found out Sara’s papa was dead and penniless. Sara knew she was now a pauper. Miss Minchin already hated Sara; when she realized that she had spoiled her in vain, she would want Sara dead. Sara was now deeply frightened. She needed money to pay off her papa’s debt to Miss Minchin, and she needed it now. She went to her desk to try to calculate how much she owed.
It took the whole morning, but Sara finally managed to figure out exactly how much she owed Miss Minchin. The number was staggering, and Sara didn’t know how in the world she would come up with such a sum. It would take her years to pay Miss Minchin back, especially since she did not have a job. There were not readily available jobs for children. The only job that might pay well enough to cover her debt with any sort of celerity was one that Sara refused to even consider. She would not be a prostitute, no matter how well the job would pay. If Sara was a little older, she might be able to find a good job as a maid or a tutor. But no one would hire an eleven year old to teach their children, or even to clean their house. She was simply too young to be of any use. But she had to do something. She did not want to end up as a slave here because she knew how Becky was treated and also knew it would a thousand times worse for her because Miss Minchin hated her so much. Sara became paralyzed with fear for a few moments as the realization struck her that she might well be forced to work here to cover her debt. She wanted to scream, but suppressed the urge. It felt surreal that her whole world was now in shambles yet she was the only one that knew it. She decided to write another letter, this time to her ayah in India. She hoped the woman whom she loved would be able to help her. The woman had been like a mother to Sara. As she wrote the letter, tears streamed down her face. This was the last day she would ever have as a princess. She would be a scullery maid henceforth, and she wasn’t sure how long of a day she would have as a princess. She began to wonder if the horrible thing that was going to happen was connected to her papa’s death. Perhaps his solicitor was going to come today to tell Miss Minchin of the situation. Sara supposed she ought to get her things ready to be sold as they most likely would be to cover the cost of the party. She sighed deeply. The door opened as she began the arduous and painful task of preparing her things for resale. Sara looked up and saw Mariette standing there with a shocked expression on her pretty face. “Good morning, Mariette!” Sara said, trying to sound cheerful. Mariette didn’t need to know the grave reality of the situation. She would soon be in enough trouble; she deserved to have at least a few hours of happiness. Mariette asked, “Sara, why are you rearranging your things?” Sara knew a princess would be truthful, so she replied, “My papa is dead, Mariette. I am not rearranging my things. I am preparing them so it will be easier for Miss Minchin to sell them to pay for today’s party. I am penniless now. I know not what Miss Minchin will do, but it is a likely possibility that I will be forced to work off my debt as a scullery maid, like Becky. I wish there was a job I could do that would make it unnecessary for me to work here, but I cannot think of one.” Mariette got tears in her eyes. “I am sorry for your loss, Miss Sara, and I am sorry that you must become a servant to such a cruel woman.” Sara said, “Well, at least I’ll go somewhere else in September. I have apparently gotten accepted into a school for wizards and witches. I don’t know how I’ll get there or how I’ll pay for the supplies needed, but I’ll handle that later.” Sara handed Mariette the letter. Mariette read it and then sighed. “Miss Sara, are you sure you want to stay here?” Sara replied, “No, but I don’t have a choice. If I run, I’ll be prosecuted for stealing whatever dress I put on. Nothing is mine anymore. I do not want to end up in debtor’s prison or in a workhouse. As bad as life here will be, I’m damn sure that this is my best option right now. Besides, running is cowardly. A princess would not run away; she would face what she knew was coming with grace and courage. I will not be a coward now.” Mariette hugged Sara. “You are the truest princess I have ever met, Miss Sara! Not many would stay when faced with such a grim future, even if the alternative was debtors’ prison or a workhouse. But you’re a smart girl, and will surely find a job soon.” Sara replied, “I surely hope so. This is going to be a living hell working for Miss Minchin. I will be starved to save money and at the same time worked to the bone.” Sara secretly wondered how long she would survive here under Miss Minchin’s foot. She wasn’t sure she’d even make it to the other school at all. Could she really survive six months of privation? She shivered, knowing that the fireplace in the attic was never used and that it was well below freezing outside. Her logical mind told her that she might survive a month or two in such conditions, without adequate food or warmth. Then it would be up to fate whether she survived or not. She surely could not survive more than four months, even as the weather warmed. She knew the remainder of winter would weaken her to the point that her body would begin to fail by the time spring came. Sara realized that she only had a few more months left to live. She instinctively began to shake with the knowledge that even though she was perfectly healthy she was about to die. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she did not hear the knock on the door. Suddenly she wondered if cowardice wasn’t such a bad idea after all. She could not run away because she would be caught but there was another way out, perhaps her only escape at this point. She stood up and walked swiftly over to her desk and took out the letter opener. She knew for a fact that it was razor sharp because a girl had cut herself playing with it. Sara sighed, steeling herself against the pain to come as she raised the blade to her throat. “Goodbye, world,” she said with her eyes full of tears. But just as she was slitting her own throat, a hand grabbed hers. Sara looked and saw Becky was holding her hand tightly, preventing her from suicide. “Let go, Becky! I must do this. Mariette can explain to you why.” As she said this, she tried to free her hand with no success. Despite being weaker and smaller than Sara, Becky was holding on with surprising strength. “I can’t let you do this, Miss! It ain’t right!” Sara replied, “Damn it, Becky, let go of my hand this instant! I am sorry that this upsets you, but I have no other choice!” Becky seemed shocked at Sara’s use of a curse word. Her grip loosened, giving Sara just enough leverage to break free. Sara then stabbed the letter opener into her chest with all her strength and then twisted it. She was rewarded with gushing blood. She smiled as she began to have trouble breathing. She fell to the floor, grinning. Then the world went black.
Sara woke up in a forest with the sun shining down on her face. She stood up and realized her chest wound was gone. Was she in heaven? She barely believed in such a thing anymore. She had tried for years to believe in God and heaven, but it was too fantastical for her to truly believe in. She sighed, wondering if her brain had come up with this because she was dying. Sara began to walk, the grass tickling her bare feet. She began to run, enjoying the last bit of freedom she would ever get, even if it was in death. Suddenly she sensed movement in the trees. She stopped, suddenly afraid. “Who are you?” she asked warily. She half feared it was Miss Minchin intruding on her dream world. She then realized that Miss Minchin could no longer harm her. This was a safe place. So she smiled and walked towards the noise with confidence. She jumped as a young man came toward her. He smiled at her and waved. Sara knew he was friendly and meant her no harm, so she smiled back. He was very handsome with tan skin and long silky black hair. She wondered if she was in India. She smiled wider and ran towards him, her arms outstretched. She was home! “Hug me!” she said in Hindi. The man’s face became puzzled even though he obeyed. Sara sighed in content as she was embraced. She liked this man, even if he was only a figment of her vivid imagination. Then she burst into tears. The man held her and patted her back soothingly as she cried into his bare chest. He then began to carry her away. “Where are you taking me?” asked Sara through her tears. The man replied, “I am taking you to my village. It is not far away.” Sara nodded and allowed herself to be carried to a village. She knew as soon as she saw it that this was not India at all. She had never seen such designs before. She wondered where she was as the man carried her into a nearby tent. An old man was in there. He seemed alarmed when he saw Sara. “What is the matter, child?” he asked her. Sara replied, “I am hurt. I appeared in the forest after I committed suicide. I’m not sure if I am dead or alive.” The man nodded and said, “Lay her here, Squanto. I need to look at her.” Squanto obeyed and laid her on the mat on the floor. The older man gently pulled her nightie down to reveal her flat chest which was bleeding profusely. The man immediately looked closer at the wound. “This is deep but not fatal. If treated, this should heal in a week or so.” Sara knew none of this was real, so she nodded and said, “All right.” The man said, “This will be very painful.” Squanto took Sara into his arms although she knew she would not feel any pain. Still, she snuggled her head into his chest, liking the feel of a warm chest. She felt sudden love for this man named Squanto. She flushed scarlet as she basked in the feel of her first love. Suddenly, as she was on the brink of sleep, she felt sharp stabbing pain in her chest. It was all she could do not to scream. What was this?!? She knew she couldn’t feel pain in dreams. And she knew that the pain couldn’t be from someone pulling out the knife because the gushing blood had washed it out of her chest. She began to realize that she was in another world. Was this the afterlife? She hoped she got to stay here forever with this man. She relaxed despite the pain. Squanto was stroking her head. She began to fall asleep. “I love you, Squanto,” she whispered.
Sara woke up back in her suite of rooms in the school. She could faintly hear Lottie crying. She tried to sit up only to feel agonizing pain in her chest. Blood was everywhere. The letter opener was on the desk, its blade soaked in blood. She slowly walked over to examine it. She wiped the blood off with her nightie, careful not to cut herself in the process. The last thing she needed was a hand injury slowing her down. She knew Miss Minchin would be quick to punish Sara if she were slow. Sara walked to her wardrobe and opened its doors, intending to find a black dress. She knew she would need to wear it when she became a servant. She soon found one that was too short for her in the back of the wardrobe. She sighed, knowing Miss Minchin would not care if the dress was too short. Sara would be expected to wear it as long as she could put it on at all. Sara laid the dress on her bed. She hugged Emily. “This is our last day of happiness, Emily. Let’s try to enjoy ourselves,” she said cheerfully. Suddenly the door opened and Mariette came in. “Miss Sara, you should not be walking! You are badly hurt. But it is just as well that you are up, since Miss Minchin wants to start the party now. She would not listen when I said you were ill. She seemed to think you were being lazy and trying to get out of the party.” Sara rolled her eyes, not wanting to have to listen to another scolding after she had just lost her papa. She then sighed and said, “Then let us not keep them waiting, Mariette. I’d like this day to be over as soon as possible.” Mariette seemed to understand as she readied Sara for the party, curling her hair and helping her into the pink silk dress that Miss Minchin had bought specially for this day. Then Sara slipped her feet into pink shoes. A pearl necklace was fastened around her neck and a diamond tiara was placed in her hair. Sara felt like a true princess, a princess being led to execution that is. She felt as if she were being dressed up to be made fun of when she was led to the guillotine. She wondered how Marie Antoinette had felt on her last day. Sara’s face was paler than usual as she left her room for the last time with Emily in her arms. Her face was set in a fake smile. She felt colder than she had ever been as she walked down the stairs with a trembling step. Miss Minchin was at the foot of the stairs, evidently waiting for Sara. She turned around as Sara finished the last of the stairs. She opened her mouth to scold Sara, but shut it in horror when she saw Sara’s face. “Sara, are you all right? You look pale as ice!” Sara replied, “I feel cold, Miss Minchin.” Miss Minchin became alarmed and made Sara sit. “Mariette, go get the best doctor you can find! Sara is deathly ill!” Sara suddenly had another premonition and said, “Mariette, go down by the old church. There is a reddish tree, and right to the left of that tree is a doorway. Go through there and you will find a doctor about a mile away. He lives in a big mansion.” Miss Minchin said, “She’s out of her mind with fever!” Mariette nodded and ran out of the school. Sara hoped she was following what Sara had told her.
Fifteen minutes later, Mariette came back trailed by a man Sara hoped was a doctor. He ran over to Sara who was by this time lying on a nearby couch. “What happened, sweetheart?” he asked. Sara sighed and looked at Miss Minchin who was beside herself with panic at the thought of losing Sara. Sara knew that the only reason Miss Minchin was so upset was that she was worried over losing Sara’s papa’s money. She might also be afraid of what the other girl’s parents would think if Sara died at the school. Sara looked straight at the doctor and replied in an emotionless voice. “I attempted suicide. I stabbed myself in the chest with a letter opener.” The man frowned as Miss Minchin asked, “Is this true, Sara?” Sara wanted to reply with sarcasm but kept her voice level as she answered, “Yes. The letter opener I used is still on my desk.” The doctor said, “Sara, why did you try to kill yourself?” Sara replied, “Because I felt I had no other escape from the horrors to come.” The doctor said, “Listen, Sara. I’m going to stitch this wound, but you will probably need a blood transfusion too. This is very deep. You’re lucky you didn’t puncture a lung.” Sara raised an eyebrow. She did not consider herself lucky at all. The doctor ignored this and began to clean the wound. It was painful, but Sara realized that wasn’t bad. At least she felt something other than this grief. After the wound was clean, the doctor took out a syringe. “I’m going to numb the area first before I apply the sutures.” Sara shook her head. “Don’t numb it.” The doctor stopped. “You want to feel pain?” Sara nodded. “It’s better than the alternative,” she answered sadly. The doctor said, “Honey, do you need help? You seemed depressed.” Sara replied, “I’m in grief, doctor. My papa just died, or rather I just realized he was dead. He probably died about a month ago.” Sara’s green eyes filled with tears. The doctor said, “I’m sorry, Sara.” He then put the syringe away and began to suture Sara’s chest wound closed. Sara nearly screamed in pain. She had not expected this level of pain. She regretted having refused the medicine. She also wished he would have given it to her anyway. She did not like this man. She felt as if he knew she was penniless and did not care whether she felt pain. Sara was sure he would not give her blood as he had said she needed. Was she going to die anyway? She thought about this as the doctor worked. Then, when he was done, Sara thanked him and began to stand up. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” he asked. Sara replied, “I’m going to go to my birthday party, sir. Thank you again for saving my life.” The doctor grabbed Sara. “You’re not going anywhere with that wound. Sit back down.” Sara said, “Either you carry me or I walk to the party. Either way I’m going.” The doctor scowled as he reluctantly picked her up. To his credit, he stayed silent. He carried her into the classroom where the other girls were waiting. They gasped to see Sara carried in. Miss Minchin ignored it and said haughtily to the man, “Set her here for now.” She motioned to a comfy couch. The man set her down and then said, “I’m done here.” He then left. Sara felt glad he was gone despite the fact that she still needed blood. The girls were all waiting for the party to begin, so Sara said, “I’m ready now, Miss Minchin, if you please.” Miss Minchin smiled at Sara and nodded. She then began a lengthy speech about Sara being a little heiress. Sara had to resist the urge to raise an eyebrow at the lies Miss Minchin was spewing. She had to remind herself that Miss Minchin did not know that they were lies. Sara nearly winced when Miss Minchin mentioned her papa. Sara felt very alone at that moment. She was the only one in the room that knew her papa was dead. These girls were so happy and joyous that it seemed impossible that they would soon be crying. Even Lavinia and Jessie had smiles. They had forgotten for the moment to be haughty and spoiled. Sara knew they would be mean and nasty when they learned she was a pauper. She would most likely live in the attic in the room next to Becky, if such a thing could be called a room. She had seen it only once before, but the memory was seared in her mind. She remembered her outrage that Becky had to sleep in such a place. The bed was rock hard and the walls were dingy. Worst of all, there were rats in the walls! Sara dreaded having to sleep in such a place. She feared the rats, knowing that they brought disease. She was already gravely injured; any illness brought by rats would be her end. Fear once again began to seep into her mind. Was there no end to this miasma of fear and pain? She knew there was nothing she could do to stop what was coming. She felt once again like a princess being lead to execution. Surely Marie Antoinette knew what was in store for her before it happened. She must have been terrified, just as Sara was now. Normally Sara would be brave and strong in this sort of situation, but she knew that bravery would do nothing here. She needed to use what strength she had for survival. Anything more than that was a luxury now, and she was done with luxuries. She lay back and waited for her papa’s solicitor to come and ruin the party. The sooner he came, the sooner she could go up the attic and be alone. All Sara wanted right now was solitude. She needed to grieve in peace for a few hours at least. Suddenly she began to feel lightheaded. The room around her began to dim and blur. Sara smiled as she slipped into unconsciousness.
Sara woke up in the village she had left a half hour ago. She could see Squanto kneeling by her, still stroking her face. “Hello, my love,” she said. He smiled at her and kissed her mouth. “Hello, Sara,” he said. “How did you know my name?” Squanto replied, “You said so yourself. You’ve been speaking in your sleep.” Sara blushed. “What else have I said?” she asked. Squanto answered, “You mentioned your papa’s death. I am very sorry for your loss. And I am sorry you must sleep in such an unpleasant place.” Sara realized that this must be a very vivid dream brought on by blood loss and pain. She wondered how much longer she would live in this dream world. She’d like to live here forever, but knew that was impossible. Even if she never woke up, eventually her heart would stop beating. She would most likely starve to death. She felt as if that were a better end than freezing to death in the attic. It would be nice to stay here with Squanto and be loved. She did not want to go back to the school anytime soon, if ever. She could die in this man’s arms with a smile on her face. She resolved to never wake up. With that in mind, she slowly stood up. Squanto became alarmed. “Sara, lie back down! You’ll make your injury worse!” Sara shrugged. “That is all right, my love, since this is not real. It’s all in my head.” Squanto asked, “My love, your injury is real. How could you think it was imaginary? I do not understand.” Sara replied, “You misunderstand, Squanto. My injury is not imaginary, you are. This whole world I have appeared in is imaginary. It is something my mind made up to cope with the blood loss and pain from my chest injury.” Sara walked towards Squanto who had a hurt look on his face. “You think I am pretend?!?” he asked. Sara said, “No, I don’t think you are pretend; I know you are. I also know this is painful for you to hear, but I have to be honest, even in my own mind.” Squanto hugged Sara tightly. “Sara, I promise you I am real. I know not how to convince you of this.” Sara hugged him back. “I suppose there isn’t a way to convince you either. That’s all right. I ought to have known my imagination was this strong.” Then Sara decided to do something she would never dream of doing in the real world. She pulled back from Squanto, lifted herself up on her tiptoes, and kissed him. He kissed back, his tongue going into her mouth. Sara was so focused on kissing this man, she hardly noticed as an older man came in and cleared his throat, an amused expression on his face. Squanto immediately broke the kiss as his cheeks went red. Sara smiled at the man, acting as if he hadn’t just caught her in the middle of kissing someone. “Hello, sir. Thank you for helping me earlier,” she said, haven given up on convincing the people here that they were unreal. It spoiled the fun, she decided. She was going to die soon anyway, might as well enjoy this dream as much as she could. The man smiled at her and said, “You look much better. I am glad of that, Sara. As soon as you are feeling better our chief, Samoset, wishes to meet you. He is intrigued about you. You are the first paleface we have ever seen here.” Sara suddenly realized where she was: she must be in 16th century America, before the pilgrims came. She knew she was not in ancient America because the man knew what a paleface was and indicated that there had been some seen in other places. Sara surmised that these people must be Native Americans. She wondered what had caused her to dream of them. She had never been particularly interested in them until now. She then said to the older man, whom she assumed was a medicine man, “I feel well enough now to go see Samoset. Honestly, I am intrigued about him as well.” The medicine man smiled again and said, “Follow me.” Sara obeyed and followed him out of the teepee, Squanto close behind her. She motioned for him to come closer to her. “Hold me while we walk, my love,” she said. Squanto took her into his arms. Soon they came upon a large teepee that Sara assumed was the chief’s. She had never learned much about Native Americans and now she regretted it. She had no idea how to greet the chief of a tribe. She was completely out of her element. She wondered why she had imagined something so foreign to her. It made no sense. She began to feel nervous for the first time in her life. The medicine man seemed to see her unease and put a hand on her shoulder. “It will be all right, Sara. He isn’t going to bite.” Sara smiled at him, trying to seem cheerful even though she was nervous and scared inside. She began to think that this man might kill her. It would certainly make sense for her mind to sense that it was dying and imagine up this scenario leading up to her death. That made more sense than anything else. Sara sighed and composed herself before walking into the teepee. She curtsied to the man she assumed was Samoset and said, “It is a pleasure to meet you, your highness. My name is Sara Crewe, my liege. I apologize for my intrusion earlier.” Samoset raised a dark eyebrow at her flowery speech. “Sara, I am Samoset, chief of this tribe. I have heard how you palefaces attempt to deceive others with pretty speech. Are you doing the same thing to me now, Sara?” Sara frowned and replied, “No, I am not trying to trick you. It’s just that I am nervous. I suppose this pretty language is a sort of façade for me to cover up my nervousness and my lack of knowledge of how to act around you. I know more of kings and queens than I do of chiefs and now I begin to regret it.” Samoset smiled, surprising Sara. “You do not need to be nervous around me, Sara. Just be yourself. You are very intelligent.” To Sara’s surprise, tears came into her green eyes. This man seemed so nice, he reminded her sharply of her dead papa. She bravely held the tears back for a few seconds before she broke completely and began to cry. She managed to keep quiet as tears streamed down her face. “What is the matter?” asked Samoset, seemingly alarmed at her sudden upset. Sara was about to lie and say she was fine, but she realized now was not the time to be the strong and unconquerable soldier. Honesty was the best option here, so she replied, “I’m sorry. It’s just that you are so nice you remind me of my papa who died about a month ago. I only discovered his death this morning.” Samoset frowned. “I’m sorry for your loss, Sara. I had heard of your papa’s death from Squanto. If there is anything I can do to ease your grief, I would be happy to do it.” Sara said, “It would be nice to not have to go back to the school. You see, when I was seven, my papa sent me to a boarding school in London. But now that he is dead, I owe a lot of money because the diamond mines were false. In short, I am completely penniless and have been so for some time without knowing it. If I stay at the school, I will be forced to be a slave to pay back the money I owe. The head of the school, Miss Minchin, already dislikes me because of an incident that happened when I was seven that she blames me for. I do not want to know what she will do to me when she finds out she has been nice to me for nothing. I doubt I will survive more than a couple of months if left under her care, if one might call what she will do to me care. I will most likely die of a combination of cold and starvation. I would run into the streets, but she would catch me and force me to come back to work off my debts. I am in a dire situation right now that I would rather not be in at all if it could be helped.” Samoset thought for a moment and then said, “Then is it alright if I adopted you? I have no children and you seem to need a parent. If this Miss Minchin ever comes here, she will regret it.” Sara was taken aback by this twist that her imagination had come up with. She wondered if her mind was preparing for a permanent sleep by giving her a home here. But surely her mind knew that she was going to die soon if she did not awake. Was she going to just drop dead? That was so illogical that Sara dismissed it. Even in her fantasies, there was always some form of logic. People didn’t just drop dead without cause. And deaths that she imagined were always dramatic. Why then would her own death be so random and plain? Dropping dead was not dramatic enough. She was forced to consider an alternative that she had to this point dismissed as mere fantasy. What if this was real after all? She began to shake with the implications of such a concept. Squanto sensed this and asked, “What is the matter, my love? You are trembling!” Sara looked around for some sort of flame but could find none. She supposed that made sense since it was warm outside. “My love?” asked Squanto, still waiting for her answer. “Squanto, I am beginning to think you might be right after all,” she replied simply, causing Squanto to smile. “Stop smirking, Squanto. It is not nice.” Squanto said, “My love, I am not smirking. I am happy that you are beginning to see the truth.” Sara sighed and realized that Samoset was still awaiting her answer. For a leader, he was a very patient man. “I’m sorry for being distracted. Yes, it would be all right for you to adopt me. It will be nice to have a papa for a change. I have not seen mine for five years.” Samoset smiled sadly at her. “You have suffered much, my child. I hope you will not have to suffer any longer.” Sara smiled back and said politely, “Thank you for being concerned over me, my chief. I hope to prove worthy of such concern and of being your daughter.” Sara hoped he was not offended over her formality, but she had only just met him and did not feel comfortable being casual with him yet. It simply wasn’t proper, and propriety might well be all she had left. Samoset motioned for her to come closer. “Come here, Sara, and sit on my lap.” Sara felt extremely uncomfortable doing such a thing with anyone other than her papa. She had always disliked sitting on other people’s laps, even when she had been a small child no older than Lottie was now. Her papa had been the only one she had ever been comfortable doing so with and now even though this man was going to be a parent to her, he was not her papa and never would be. Her papa was irreplaceable. Still, she felt that she ought to show some affection and warmth towards him despite how uncomfortable it made her feel. So she put her propriety in her pocket and walked towards Samoset. Suddenly she felt herself begin to disappear. She ran into Squanto’s arms, knowing she was about to be forced back to the school. She wanted his arms to be the last thing she felt. He smiled and kissed her as she disappeared.
Sara woke up in the classroom. She looked up to see Lavinia standing there with Jessie beside her. “Wake up, Princess! Miss Minchin said you’re the only one who is allowed to open your gifts! You are very rude to sleep during your own party, Your Highness. You know everyone is curious to see the ridiculously extravagant gifts your papa bought you.” Sara wanted to slap Lavinia for talking about her papa as if he were still alive, but held herself back. She knew Lavinia had no idea of the truth. Besides, if Sara struck Lavinia, she would be in deep trouble when Miss Minchin found out about her papa’s death. She needed to be smart now. “Where is Miss Minchin anyway?” asked Sara, knowing Lavinia would not speak to her that way if Miss Minchin were around. Lavinia shrugged. “A man came to see her and she’s in her office with him now.” Sara’s face fell. She had not expected this to happen so soon. Tears came into her eyes as her mind once again filled with fear. Lavinia rolled her blue eyes and said, “What is the matter now?” Sara did not answer her as she looked around for a blade. “I need something sharp,” she said finally. Lavinia said, “Why, so you can stab yourself again? There’s a knife over on the table by that huge box although I’m not sure how useful it would be. Honestly Sara, did you really think a letter opener would kill you? I thought you were supposed to be smart!” Sara ignored Lavinia’s last comment and replied, “I didn’t think before I did it. I was desperate. I am desperate now.” Sara then stood and ran over to the knife. She examined it and saw it was not very sharp or long. It would not do at all. “Useless,” she said with disappointment as she put the knife back down. Lavinia watched this with obvious amusement on her face. “Why do you want to die so badly, Your Highness?” she asked. Sara replied honestly, “I am not a princess any longer, Lavinia. I am a pauper now. My papa is dead. The man whom Miss Minchin is with now is most likely his solicitor. I’m sure that the diamond mines were false. My papa lost all his money, and the stress killed him.” Lavinia seemed at first to think this was a joke. “Very funny, Your Royal Highness,” she said mockingly. Sara raised an eyebrow, not even slightly upset by that name like she usually was. Now it was no more than a remnant of what she once was. It had no meaning any longer. Lavinia soon realized Sara was not joking and said, “Sara, that’s ridiculous! Miss Minchin would have thrown a fit if your papa had missed even one week’s payment.” Sara replied in a calm tone, “My papa has been having business problems for at least three months. I could tell by his letters. He didn’t directly tell me anything upsetting, but I could read between the lines and tell he was deeply troubled. Miss Minchin has most likely been upset by the payments being missed, but she probably assumes he’ll give her a huge check after this party. She must think that is why his solicitor is here.” Sara added, “It must have been a very nasty surprise when she learned the true reason he came here.” She smiled a little. Lavinia was in shock. Sara knew she was very intelligent and the only reason she was behind Sara in class at all was because she was too snobby and spiteful to love books and learning as much as Sara did. Sara said, “Lavinia, why don’t you open the box? We might as well know what is in it. And since you are above me now, you have more right to open it than I do.” Lavinia smirked and opened the box, ignoring the gasps of the other girls. The box contained a huge and lavish dollhouse, one that not even Sara had ever dreamed of owning. This was surely something a real princess would have. Sara walked over to look inside it despite herself, ignoring the pain in her chest. The girls came over as well, in awe of the thing. As Sara was admiring the tiny yet exquisite rooms, she spotted another box. “Here, Lavinia.” Lavinia took the box and opened it to reveal a large gorgeous doll. The doll had long dark brown hair and green grey eyes just like Sara. Sara was nearly sick as she saw pearls in the doll’s hair. She knew they were real and must have cost a small fortune. Sara had not expected such an extravagant gift. Then again, her papa had asked her if a doll would make an appropriate present. But still, if he had only gotten her a doll like Emily it would not be as awful. Sara began to wonder when he had ordered the doll and dollhouse. She knew the letter asking about her birthday had come about a month ago. What had he been thinking to buy such gifts when he was having business troubles? Sara for the first time became angry at her papa. She clenched her fists as her rage grew. “Damn it!” she muttered, realizing she had been ruined by her own papa. He had not been having business troubles when he had bought these things; he had most likely been completely bankrupt. The diamond mines had been revealed to be false some time ago. He hadn’t had the money to cover her school costs, much less buy her expensive birthday presents. Sara slowly took off her tiara and set it down on the table, then took off her earrings and slippers too. Lavinia watched her, a smug look on her face that Sara simply didn’t have the strength to react to. Sara then saw Becky standing there, tears in her eyes. Sara knew she had heard everything. “Becky, would you please go into my room and get the black dress that is on my bed? I might as well do this now.” Becky nodded and ran out of the room.
Several minutes later, Becky came back with the dress. Sara, who was this time down to her shift, put it on without help. “Here Miss, I found these shoes too.” Sara sighed as she donned the plain brown boots that she had bought on a whim a year ago. She was surprised how well they still fit her feet. She then began to walk to the door. “Where are you going?” asked Lavinia. Sara replied, “I am going to the attic. That is where I sleep now. I need to be alone to prepare myself for tomorrow.” Sara then took the silk dress and carried it up to her rooms, careful not to wrinkle it. She hung it up on a hanger and proceeded to clean all the blood out of the room.
Sara moved quickly and within five minutes the room was cleaner than it had been before she stabbed herself. All her things were laid out, ready to be removed and sold. Sara dressed Emily in a black dress as well before looking around the room one last time and then walking out, knowing she would never return, at least not to sleep. She supposed Miss Minchin would remake the room so that another pupil could sleep there. Sara walked downstairs, having decided to face Miss Minchin. It wouldn’t do well for Miss Minchin to hear that Sara had escaped to the attic. Sara was a foot from the classroom when the door to Miss Minchin’s office opened and Miss Amelia came out. She saw Sara and stopped. She didn’t seem to understand why Sara was so changed. “Hello, Miss Amelia,” said Sara. Miss Amelia asked, “Sara, why are you wearing that dress? And why are you not in the classroom with the others?” Sara replied, “Miss Amelia, I know my papa is dead and I know he left me penniless. I am a pauper now. I suppose Miss Minchin will force me to stay here to work off my debt as a scullery maid, so I decided to dress accordingly. I was just going to the classroom now.” Miss Amelia seemed shocked that Sara knew the truth. “Sara, Miss Minchin wants to see you,” said the woman, unable to think of anything else. Sara nodded and walked over to the door of Miss Minchin’s office. She knocked. “Who is it?” asked Miss Minchin, her voice lined with fury. Sara gathered her courage and replied politely, “It is Sara, Miss Minchin. May I please come in?” “You took your sweet time. Come in!” Sara ignored the angry words and opened the door and came in. She saw a man whom she assumed was her papa’s solicitor. She curtsied. “Hello. I suppose you are papa’s solicitor from Barrow and Skipworth. I am sorry to have to meet you under such circumstances.” The man seemed impressed by her and answered. “Yes. I apologize for your loss, Miss Crewe.” Suddenly Sara got an idea. “Excuse me, sir, I know I have no right to ask anything of you after my papa left such debt, but I was wondering if you might be able to help me locate a job. I need to pay off my debts and I have no money. I am sure you know what is in store for me here. I would be exceedingly grateful if you might at least give me some sort of advice on where to find a decent job.” The solicitor replied, “I shall look into it, Miss Crewe. You are a smart girl and well mannered. I am sure someone would be willing to hire you.” Sara smiled at the man. “I hope you are right, sir, because if I don’t find another job soon I fear I will not survive very long.” The solicitor frowned as Miss Minchin became irate. “Sara Crewe, don’t tell falsehoods. Go upstairs this instant!” Sara curtsied and said, “Yes, Ma’am.” Then she walked out of the room, completely ignoring Miss Amelia, and went upstairs to the attic. She sat down on the broken footstool and drew her knees to her chest then put her head down. She was trying not to cry, but it was an effort. Even though she had been prepared for this for what seemed like a long time, the shock of the sudden and drastic change in her life was almost too much for her to handle. She hoped the solicitor would find her a job soon; she was afraid she might have to resort to drastic measures to earn money. She knew that she could not stay here for long without having a way to earn money so she could repay her debt to Miss Minchin as quickly as possible. What she would do after that she did not know, but for now she needed to survive until she could make it to the other school. She resolved that she would do whatever she needed to do to survive. She then decided to go to sleep from emotional exhaustion.
Sara woke up in an alley. She stood up and started walking away when she spotted something on the ground. She bent down and saw it was a gun. She figured she might as well be armed just in case, so she picked it up and carried it in her hand as she walked out of the alley and into a street that she did not recognize. She saw a stand that held newspapers and snacks. Sara cocked her head, curious because she had seen this sort of thing only in India. She smiled, hoping she was home. With hope filling her mind, she ran skipped over to the stand, hiding the gun behind her back. She saw a man who was wearing odd clothing standing there talking to the clerk. He turned his head when she came over to him. She smiled at him and said cheerfully, “Hello! My name is Sara, it is nice to meet you!” The man smiled back and replied, “Hey, Sara. I’m Tony. It’s nice meeting you too. You want something to drink?” Sara blushed hotly. She had not been poor more than a day and people were already treating her like a beggar. She knew rationally that this man was only being nice and that she should acquiesce, but her pride burned inside her. “No thank you,” she managed to say with a curtsy and an awkward smile. Tony raised an eyebrow and asked, “Where are your parents anyway? It isn’t safe for you to be wandering around by yourself.” Sara replied honestly, “My parents are dead, sir. My mama died when I was born and my papa died a month ago.” Tony sighed and said, “I’m sorry. If there’s anything I can do, just say the word, ok?” As he said this, the bottle of juice he was holding was shot. Sara screamed as she realized that Tony was being attacked. She instinctively ducked as Tony ran and got into what looked like a horseless carriage. Sara had never seen anything like it before. She stared at it in awe for a split second before jumping into action as a black man jumped into the window of Tony’s car, trying to kill him. Sara pulled out the gun from behind her back and fired several times while running towards the moving carriage. Another black man tried to grab her but she shot him in the head. Then she resumed shooting Tony’s attacker, finally hitting him in the side. He screamed in pain and fell out of the window. Tony stopped the car. “Sara, get in here!” Sara nodded and ran up to the car, opened the back door, and jumped in. After she closed the door, Tony started driving again. “Where are we going?” asked Sara after she had gotten used to the odd movement of the carriage. Tony replied, “We’re going to my office, Sara.” Sara nodded and gazed out the window, surprised at how fast they seemed to be going. She wanted to ask Tony about it, but she did not want to seem stupid. So she settled for looking all around the inside of the carriage with her eyes while keeping her body and head still. It was a feat, but Sara managed it. She was so engrossed in looking around that she did not notice as the car pulled into the lot of a strip club until the car suddenly stopped, sending her forward. Tony caught her before she hit her head on the dashboard. “You all right?” he asked. Sara nodded, shaken. “What is this thing?” she asked looking up at Tony. Tony was obviously trying hard not to laugh as he replied, “It’s a car, Sara. I wondered why you never put on your seatbelt.” Sara admitted, “I don’t know what that is, Tony.” Tony said, “I’ll explain later. For now let’s go inside.” Sara smiled and allowed Tony to help her out of the car. When she was on her feet, she looked around. “What is this place?” she asked as she saw a picture of a naked woman above a sign that read exotic dancers. Immediately Sara became excited and grinned. She pointed to the sign and asked, “Tony, does that mean there are belly dancers here, like in India?” Tony was about to answer when a man who had just walked out of the building replied, “Are you an idiot or are you just high? Either way, get out of here before I get mad. You’re getting on my fucking nerves, kid.” Tony said, “Easy, Sil. She just saved my life.” Sil sighed and relaxed as he looked at Sara who was on the verge of tears. Sara’s lower lip shook despite itself as she tried hard not to cry. Her chest ached and she was beginning to feel dizzy again. Sil walked towards her. “Honey, I’m sorry.” Sara lost her temper at that moment and yelled, “Don’t call me honey after what you just said! And don’t try to apologize when it is clear you’re only doing it because Tony said so! You, sir, need to learn to respect girls, even if they’re in rags, because you never know when one of us might be a princess who could easily wave her wrist and send you to the guillotine for being unkind to her. I am a princess too, and the only reason I am sparing you is that I know that you are only a stupid old man who doesn’t know any better!” Sara put her hands on her flat hips in righteous indignation as she glared up at Sil, waiting for his reply to her tirade. To her surprise, Sil grinned and began to laugh. “This is not funny! How dare you laugh at me!” said Sara, incensed. Tony said, “Sil, don’t tease her.” Sara turned on Tony. “And you, how dare you bring a young lady to such a place? For God’s sake, Tony, I just saved your life and you repay me by bringing me to a harlot’s den after telling me that you were bringing me to your office? Have you no compunction?” Sil was trying hard to suppress laughter as he said, “Principessa, I’m sure he didn’t mean to offend your sensibilities. And he didn’t lie to you. Our office is here. You see, Tony owns this strip club.” Sara raised an eyebrow. “Well he ought to have been more honest about that. I thought we were going to a normal office building! I feel not only offended but deceived.” Tony said, “Calm down, dolce cuore.” Sara stepped back from the two men and said, “Don’t tell me to calm down! And don’t call me sweetheart. I am sick of people not caring about me or my feelings.” Tears streamed down Sara’s face as she began to cry silently. She then pulled out the gun from her dress pocket and pointed it at her own head. Both men were alarmed. “Sara don’t! Listen, I’m sorry for not being upfront with you about taking you here. I’m sorry that Sil was an ass to you, but suicide isn’t the answer. So put the gun down, Sara, and the three of us can talk in my office.” Sara looked from Tony to the building. A young woman dressed in lingerie stepped outside. Sara wrinkled her nose in disgust. “I am not going anywhere near that place! I may be penniless and a scullery maid now, but I still have some pride left, Tony. I am not like her! That’s why you brought me here, isn’t it? You wanted me to be a little harlot. I will never bring myself so low as to undress in front of men, because even though I now must wear rags, I am a princess inside!” Tony said, “I never wanted you to be a stripper, Sara! I know you ain’t like our girls here, besides the fact that you aren’t old enough to strip anyway. You have to be eighteen to strip legally and you’re not even thirteen. I don’t care that you don’t have any money. That doesn’t undermine the fact that you saved my life even though you could have easily been killed or worse. I brought you here to talk about rewarding you for doing that. I realize now that it was stupid and offensive to bring a girl here. Again, I’m sorry.” Sara sighed as her finger reached the trigger. “This is not about you, Tony. This is not your fault and there is nothing you could have done to stop it. This would have happened eventually. I simply cannot live as a scullery maid under Miss Minchin, who will no doubt starve and beat me. I would be insane and idiotic to return to such a life if I had an alternative. I have no choice but to kill myself.” As she said this, she pulled the trigger. She then fell to the ground. The last thing she heard was the woman screaming and running over as Tony took Sara in his arms. She smiled up at him and then used the last of her strength to reach up and kiss his mouth. He kissed back as her heart stopped.
Sara woke up in Squanto’s arms. He was asleep. Sara could see dried tears on his handsome face. She could tell he had cried recently. She ran her small hand along his face. “Squanto, my love, I am sorry for making you cry. I love you deeply and if I were old enough I would want to marry you.” Squanto’s eyes opened and he smiled at Sara. “Sara, I thought you were not coming back! I love you too. Samoset will be ecstatic to see you are alive. I asked him for your hand in marriage and he said if you were willing, then he would allow us to marry when you come of age.” Sara grinned in delight. “I am very willing, Squanto. Does this mean we are engaged? I need to find you a ring. I don’t know how I’ll afford one, but I suppose I have a few years to figure it out.” Squanto laughed and said, “Yes, we are engaged then. But what is this about a ring? Is it something palefaces do when they are engaged?” Sara explained, “Traditionally, when a man proposes to a woman or asks for her hand in marriage, he presents her a ring if she says yes. And then when the two are married, they exchange wedding rings. But since I’m the one from that culture, I thought it appropriate to give you a ring as a symbol of our engagement.” Sara took off her locket and put it around Squanto’s neck. “Here, I suppose this locket will have to suffice until I can find a gorgeous ring.” Squanto grinned again and said, “I’m sure it will be beautiful, Sara.” Sara kissed him. He kissed back, his hands moving along her small body. Suddenly, as the two were kissing passionately, the medicine man came into the tent and cleared his throat. Sara and Squanto immediately looked up, both blushing hotly. The medicine man smiled in amusement. “I came in here to see how Sara was doing,” he said as he walked over to Sara as Squanto sighed and held Sara. The medicine man frowned as he looked at Sara’s head. “You’re bleeding, Sara! What happened?” he asked as he gently felt her gunshot wound on either side of her head. “I tried to kill myself again, this time with a gun,” admitted Sara honestly. The medicine man closed his eyes for a second. “Sweetheart, you can’t keep trying to commit suicide, because eventually you will succeed. Why do you want to leave us so badly?” Sara replied, “I don’t want to leave any of you. I love you all. The reason I keep trying to end my life is that I want to leave the school I am trapped in. I don’t want to know what Miss Minchin is planning to do to me. I doubt I will survive much longer anyway. It is better to die by my own hand now than to endure a slow agonizing death. If I could find a way to live here forever and never go back, I would do it in a heartbeat and never think of suicide again. But I do not think it is possible for me to live here.” The medicine man said, “Then this is very serious. We need to talk with the chief about what to do about this.” Squanto picked Sara up and followed the medicine man to Samoset’s teepee. Samoset looked up and grinned at seeing Sara. “Sara, my daughter, I am so glad to see you again!” He reached out his arms for her. Squanto gently placed her on Samoset’s lap. Samoset hugged her to him and then frowned. “Sara my dear, your head is bleeding! What happened, my daughter?” Sara replied, “I shot myself in the head with a gun.” Samoset grimaced as tears came into his eyes. “Sara, my sweet daughter, why do you keep trying to kill yourself? I don’t understand!” Sara said, “If you find a way to either kill Miss Minchin or allow me to stay here for the rest of my life, then I’ll stop trying to die. Until then, I have no choice. I will not stop trying to escape Miss Minchin until the day I die.” Samoset sighed and said, “Can you not run away? I cannot take these suicide attempts. It breaks my heart that you wish to die so much. I love you deeply even though we’ve just met. I don’t want to lose you.” Sara replied, “I understand that, and I’m sorry for causing you so much grief, but if I ran away I’d be arrested and sent to a workhouse. You see, I owe Miss Minchin a lot of money and she will not allow me to escape without working it off. If I ran away, she would sent police after me and I would be forced first into debtors prison and then into a workhouse to pay off my debt, then when that was paid off, I’d go back into debtors’ prison. As bad as it is living at the school as a scullery maid, living in a workhouse would be much worse. I don’t think I’d survive even a week in a workhouse. At least I still have one friend at the school; at a workhouse I wouldn’t have any friends.” Suddenly Sara heard Becky’s voice saying, “Miss Sara, wake up! The missus will be very angry if you go downstairs late.” Sara sighed and woke up.
Sara looked around the barren attic that was her new bedroom. At least she got her own room, she supposed. Sara then stood up and followed Becky downstairs, not saying a word. When she arrived in the dining room, she saw Lavinia was already sitting in her seat. Miss Minchin turned as she entered and said coldly, “You are late. Don’t let it happen again. You are to sit with the younger girls and see that they behave. Lottie has already upset her tea.” Sara sighed in resignation and said in a monotone, “Yes, Ma’am.” She then walked over and sat next to Lottie despite the pain in her chest. Sara decided that she didn’t care what Miss Minchin did to her anymore, as long as she could return to Squanto and Samoset at night. She could bear whatever happened to her if she had that to look forward to. She wondered how Tony and Sil were doing after her supposed death. She supposed they blamed themselves for it even though she had told them it wasn’t their faults. She also wondered who that woman was. She was surely some sort of harlot. Sara remembered that Tony had said something about strippers. Sara did not quite know what that was, but she could easily figure that it had something to do with a woman who took off her clothes for money. Sara nearly giggled at having kissed Tony. She knew he was married, but she just couldn’t help herself. He was cute even though Sara though he was much too fat for her tastes. Sil, on the other hand, was thinner and Sara wondered if he had an attractive chest like Squanto. Sara realized that both Sil and Tony were too pale for her to really be attracted to. She liked russet skin and long black hair. She supposed that made sense after being raised in India although she knew that many English girls were raised in India and few of them were attracted to men that weren’t pale skinned Europeans. But one thing Sara was sure of was that she liked kissing men, no matter their skin color or weight. Kissing was fun! Sara hoped to go farther someday. She was well versed in the Karma Sutra, and hoped to share her knowledge with Squanto one day so they could act it out. Sara blushed hotly as she began to think of what it would be like to do it with Squanto, and maybe even Tony or Sil too. A threesome would be very fun. “Sara!” a shrill voice brought Sara quite rudely out of her naughty thoughts. Sara looked up and saw Miss Minchin glaring at her. “What is the matter, Ma’am?” asked Sara. Miss Minchin replied, “You are not watching the children! Lottie has been talking far too much and she has spilled her porridge. Now clean that up and keep a better eye on her instead of daydreaming.” Sara said, “Yes, ma’am.” Sara then cleaned up the mess Lottie had made while still thinking about Squanto, her fiancé. She missed him already.
Sara breezed through the rest of the day until late that night, when she was finally allowed to go upstairs to bed. She raced up the three flights of stairs, eager to see her love again. She quickly lay down and went to sleep.
Sara woke up in a room she did not recognize. A thin tube was sticking out of her left arm and gold liquid was dripping into her arm from a clear bag. She realized that her chest no longer hurt. A small person in strange white clothes with blue lights was watching her. “Who are you?” asked Sara in awe. The person replied, “I am an alien. My people, the Sophons, live in an alternate universe far away from yours. But we have seen what you have gone through and decided to help. I am so sorry about your papa’s death, Sara.” Sara answered, “How do you know about this?” The alien replied, “We know because we have been watching you since before you were born. You have a natural affinity for Dust; it seems to just gravitate towards you.” The alien motioned towards the golden liquid. “This is liquefied Dust. It has healed your chest injury quite nicely as well as your gunshot wound.” Just as she was about to ask what Dust was, the door slid open and Sil walked in. The alien smiled at her before disappearing. Sara looked up at Sil as he noticed she was awake. He smiled at her and said, “Hey, Sara. I was worried that you weren’t going to wake up anytime soon. You’ve been in a deep coma for several weeks.” Sara asked, “Where am I anyway? I’ve never seen a room like this. And those beeping machines are quite odd.” Sil once again tried to stifle laughter as he replied, “You’re in a hospital, miele. After you shot yourself, Tony and I rushed you here where the docs struggled to save your life. After you were stabilized, you were put in this room. That was half a month ago. It’s a miracle you survived.” Sara had never before been in a hospital. When she had been sick, her papa’s physician had taken care of her. Hospitals were for people who couldn’t afford private medical care, or at least that is what she had been raised to believe. Now she wasn’t sure what was true or false anymore. Her whole world seemed to have been turned upside down and then shaken, as if she lived inside a snow globe. How long had her papa known he was penniless and in debt? She was angry at him for not bringing her back to India when he had the chance. She knew one did not just suddenly fall into poverty from such wealth. He had spent a small fortune on her birthday party, and another on that ridiculous doll. He had to have known that he could little afford either. Sara could almost understand his reasoning. She supposed he had been trying to keep her happy and protect her from the awful truth of their situation. But still, the money he spent on her birthday could have easily gone to pay for her to come back to India, where she was sure her ayah would have adopted her. She could not believe he was stupid and naïve enough to believe she would be cared for by Miss Minchin. What had he been thinking?!? She wanted to scream. Because of him, she was stuck in hell with no way out. She wished she had figured out earlier that he was having money problems. Then she could have sold her possessions herself and used the money to return home to India. As she looked back, she realized with a sinking feeling that she ought to have known for at least a year that something was amiss. That’s when the letters had stopped being quite so cheerful and merry. Sara cursed inside herself, beginning to think this was all her fault. Her papa had not known any better, but she should have. She thought she was smart, but now she doubted she was very intelligent at all. How could she have missed all the hints and signs that something was wrong? Maybe she really ought to die after all if she were as stupid as this. She pointed to a nearby cabinet. “What’s in that, Sil?” she asked innocently. Sil looked to where she was pointing and said, “Probably medical stuff, Sara. Do you want me to look inside?” Sara nodded. Curiosity burned inside her as well as hope that it contained some medicine that she could commit suicide with. Perhaps this time she would not be able to be saved. Sil shrugged as he walked over and opened the drawers of the cabinet to reveal syringes. He took one out. “This one has steroids in it. It’s probably used to treat anaphylaxis.” Sara had no idea what either of those things were, deepening her conviction that she was a complete idiot. Sil was by this time pulling out more syringes. “Weird. These are all epinephrine and other steroids. You’d think they’d have insulin in this, just in case there was a diabetic here.” Sara’s face lit up. She knew exactly what insulin and diabetes were. She also knew that insulin was toxic to healthy people. “I guess they didn’t want anyone committing suicide by insulin, Sil,” said Sara. Sil sighed. Sara could tell he was still upset over her suicide attempt. She was sorry to have to cause him more grief, but he and everyone else was better off without an imbecile like her galumphing around wreaking havoc. She lied, “Sil, I’m hungry! Could you get me something to eat?” Sil nodded and managed to smile although she could tell it was a huge effort. “You must be starving after not eating for half a month. I’ll go see if I can get some food, OK Principessa?” Sara nodded in fake eagerness and said, “Thank you, Sil!” Sil’s smile became real for a few moments as he walked to the door. Before leaving, he turned around and said, “One more thing before I leave, Sara.” His face was completely serious. Sara said, “What, Sil?” Sil said, “Don’t try to commit suicide again while I’m gone.” Sara kept her face straight as she lied, “I promise I won’t, Sil.” Sil evidently believed her because he smiled again and then left the room. Sara hated having to lie, but supposed that one more lie wouldn’t matter anyway since she was going to die soon anyway. She was determined to succeed this time. She would keep injecting insulin into her veins until she dropped dead. She waited patiently for Sil’s footsteps to fade away before she carefully got out of bed and ripped out the needle that was pouring Dust into her bloodstream. She then walked over to the door and looked both ways to make sure nobody was nearby before she walked out of the room and down the hall and into another room where a redheaded girl was laying in a bed, bruises all over her. Sara grabbed the clipboard from her bed and opened it to find that the girl had been in a horrific accident. Sara then read that the girl’s mother was diabetic. She smiled as she found a grey pen lying on the bedside table. Sara turned the dial so that it would give her the full dose, then she looked at the girl who the chart said was in agony and wasn’t likely to get better. Sara supposed she ought to do one last good deed as she walked over and plunged the pen into the girl’s carotid artery and pushed the button. The girl immediately seemed to relax into death. Sara smiled and grabbed the second grey pen and injected herself with insulin. She collapsed, her head hitting the floor with a sickening crack. The world around her went black as blood streamed out of her head.
Sara woke up with her wrists tied together with some sort of golden material. She looked around and saw she was in a nice bedroom. She jumped when she saw the alien from before sitting in a chair, watching her with its large blue eyes. Sara sighed in disappointment that her suicide attempt had once again failed. How difficult was it to end her life, for God’s sake? Was she such an idiot that she could not manage the simplest tasks? The alien seemed to read her mind as it said, “Sara, you are not an idiot. If you were, my people would not have been interested in you. Idiots are commonplace; true genius is rare and exciting. We knew from the moment you received consciousness in your mother’s body that you were smarter than some of us and that is saying a lot for an Earthling human. We have never come across even an adult human that could compare to our intelligence until we met you, although your papa came very close. We had been watching him for a while before he met your mama and you were conceived.” Sara was intrigued by this and could not help but believe this alien, but she still wondered how she had survived injecting insulin into her carotid artery. She realized that she might not be an idiot after all; she had not botched the suicide. She knew someone had to have saved her. One did not survive a sudden and complete drop in blood sugar without external help. The alien said, “That’s right, Sara. You would have died very quickly had it not been for Sil’s quick actions. The Dust sent out an alarm to Sil’s cell phone as soon as you disconnected the IV. He ran back upstairs and arrived just after you had gone into hypoglycemic shock, causing a massive seizure. He thought you were going to die and so he put you back into your own room and put the IV back in. Then the Dust was able to heal you and destroy the insulin. You were then brought here, to Tony’s house. You are now in his bedroom. He sleeps in the chair I am sitting in. He does not dare leave you unattended for even a second.” Sara said, “Shall I be allowed to stay here until September? I have been accepted to another school which starts then. But I do not want to return to Miss Minchin’s! That is why I have continued to attempt suicide. I cannot bear living in that attic for even another day! The way the other girls stare at me, like I’m some sort of animal, is hurtful.” Tears gathered in Sara’s eyes. The alien sighed and said, “The girls probably don’t know how to handle the huge change in your status. Yesterday you were basically a princess, and overnight you’ve become a scullery maid. Even for your friend Emerngarde, it is very awkward. She is not very intelligent, even for a young human, and it will probably be several months at least before she is able to approach you. Lottie is too young to realize what has happened. All she knows is that you are suddenly wearing a black dress that is too short for you. If you left the school, your friends would suffer. Neither of them would understand why you had left.” Sara frowned. “You want me to stay at the school, don’t you?” The alien shook it’s head. “No, Sara. We do not care whether or not you stay. I am simply providing you with both sides of the issue so that you can make an informed decision.” Sara nodded and asked, “Will Miss Minchin prosecute me if I leave?” The alien nodded. “Most likely if you were to leave and stay in your own time period, she would attempt to get her money back. But if you stayed here, she could not reach you.” Sara nodded, knowing what she had to do. She could not allow herself to starve. Suddenly the door opened and Tony came in. He smiled at Sara and said, “Hey, Sara. How are you feeling?” Sara lied, “I am feeling well. Thank you for allowing me to stay in your home. When I recover fully, I shall find a way to repay this kindness.” Tony said, “You’re welcome, Sara. It was the least I could do after you saved my life. I never got to really repay you for doing that, so you don’t need to worry about repaying me.” Sara smiled at him and said, “I apologize for causing such grief, though. I only did it because of the desperate situation I am in.” Tony frowned and nodded. “Your alien friend was telling us about that. Look, you can’t keep living in that school the way you are now. Things are only going to get worse for you the longer you stay there. You need to get your things and leave there as soon as possible.” Sara said, “I don’t have any things left. My only possession is my doll Emily that my papa bought for me when I first came to the school. Everything else was taken away to be sold to pay my debts.” Sara sighed, knowing she had to ask to stay here even though it felt awkward because she barely knew Tony. “Tony, can I ask you a favor? I know you’ve already done a lot for me and this is completely impertinent to ask, but may I stay here? You are right in that I cannot return to the school, but I have nowhere else to go. If I were to go back to my own time period, I would be persecuted and put into a workhouse or debtors prison. Not that I would have anywhere to live even if I weren’t in debt. I still have no money. I’ll pay you back once I find a job.” Tony raised an eyebrow and answered, “Sara, I wouldn’t allow you not to stay here. This is your home now. As for finding a job, if you really want to I have no objections, but you’ll have to wait until you’re old enough to work. I think you have to be at least fourteen.” Sara sighed in relief that she would be able to live here and not have to work. She could pretend that Tony was her papa even though she was tempted to kiss him again. He was very cute when he smiled. The alien seemed amused by this but kept silent as Tony walked over to Sara. Sara startled as he hugged her. She was unused to being embraced. Even before her papa died, she was rarely hugged. Sometimes Ermie hugged her, but only every once in a while. She hadn’t even realized how much she needed physical human contact until right now as she melted into Tony’s arms. Then, as he was ending the hug, she reached up and kissed him again. He immediately kissed back as he held her, one hand in her dark tangles of hair, the other arm supporting her weight. She ignored the fact that the alien was watching this with a grin on its face, looking like it was trying not to laugh. Sara suddenly thought to how her papa would weep if he knew she was kissing a man at least twice her age. She grinned, hoping he could see her. This was her vengeance for him ruining her. A grey haired man Sara had never seen before walked in and sighed. “Tony, what the fuck? You haven’t known this girl for more than two months and you’re already making moves on her. Slow down.” Sara immediately became defensive of Tony. She said, “It’s not his fault! It’s mine. I kissed him because I thought he was cute.” The man said, “You must be Sara. I’m Paulie. This is not your fault. I don’t care if you kissed him. He’s the adult, Sara. He can’t be kissing a little girl like you, no matter what you did. This is his fault. He’s the one making out with a child.” Sara raised an eyebrow. She was beginning to think this man was insane or at least painfully naïve. Mayhap he was senile. The alien burst out laughing suddenly, startling everybody in the room. “Sara, he’s not senile or naïve. In this time period, people see children as innocent and vulnerable. In this society, the age of consent is around eighteen and it is illegal for somebody older than eighteen to even kiss someone under seventeen. It’s called statutory rape, and my people agree with it for the majority of humans. Most children your age are not sexually mature and even when they are, it is too easy for them to be taken advantage of. You, of course, are very different. You are extremely intelligent and are becoming sexually mature. Now I wouldn’t advise you to go around sleeping with strange men because there are a lot of freaks out there, but kissing Tony is not dangerous or harmful. On the contrary, it could be very educational for a young girl just learning about sex and men’s bodies. As long as you don’t neglect your fiancée, it would be fun to have a fling.” Sara blushed scarlet at the mention of Squanto. Tony, Sil, and Paulie all looked at her. Tony said, “You’re engaged, Sara? To who?” Sara said, “It’s to whom, Tony. And his name is Squanto. He is native American.” Paulie said, “How long have you been engaged, Sara? Does he know you’re eleven years old?” Sara answered, “I’ve been engaged since right after I shot myself in the head. I am not sure he knows my exact age, but he knows I am not old enough to marry.” The alien handed her an emerald ring that looked very Celtic. “Here, Sara. You were looking for an engagement ring.” Sara took the ring. The alien said, “This was worn by William Wallace, known as Braveheart. He is your distant ancestor, so I thought it fitting you would use his ring.” Paulie smiled and said, “So what is the age of marriage in Native American culture, 14?” The alien replied, “Well, technically Squanto is Native Canadian since he is of the Winnipeg tribe, but traditionally the age of marriage is the same as the age of menarche. Once a girl gets her period, she chooses her husband through a ritual dance. But since Sara is so young at the time of her first period, she will most likely marry Squanto when she is twelve or thirteen due to her maturity.” Tony immediately set Sara down, acting like she was on fire. “She’s on her period?” he asked. The alien nodded. “She isn’t bleeding yet, but she has ovulated. She ought to start bleeding in a couple days.”